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October unfinished/memory jogger notes
1 - Disturbed nights sleep, waking up here and there and then woken by Sally just before 8am. Coffee and cigarettes while PCing this . . .walked in the rain. Heaped up all the rubbish left by the rugby match in front of the door to their equipment container, just so they'd have to clamber over it all next time they practice - just in case THAT will get the message through! . . . PCd, surfing, watching funny videos for pretty much the whole morning! . . . ate BB cooked sausage sandwiches . . . experimented with the cam-corder, seeing if it could be used as a high resolution webcam. In principle it should have been simple, but what screwed things up was the power saving function it has built in, where it turns itself off after five minutes of apparant innactivity. On checking through the entire manual, it transpired 'that' feature could NOT be disabled! :o( Eventually managed to find a dodge which forced the camera to remain on (sequential still photo taking, by a timer that could be set to take a photo every 60 minutes. In fact - that's a cool feature - I've been wanting to try and film myself during a full night of sleep some time, so I can do a 'time lapse' sequence, just to see how much moving around in my sleep I do) and then had a play with it hooked up in the living room. Wow - what a difference a higher resolution makes to the webcam image. Terrible waste of time all this messing around and experimenting with webcam images that no one ever sees - but it does seem like fun for some reason. I'd love to have more/better cameras to play with. The view from the roof would be SUCH a neat image to play with, if I had a PTZ camera up there somewhere. . touched base with Mum intending to wish Sis2 good luck with her journey 'home' (!?), but she'd already left for the airport on the bus, earlier in the day. . napped for a few hours . . . walked in the rain. . . PCd/TVd . . ate big - BB cooked beefburgers, mashed potato and onion in gravy, with a side salad . . . TVd and watched the new, much hyped 'Cracker' episode, with a choc ice or two and then a bunch of biscuits. . to bed around midnight. as
2 - Woken by Sally around 8am . .seem to be getting a lot of those 'returned/delivery failed' e-mails from various systems, related to mails that weren't sent by me in the first place! Someone (NOT me) has a virus! May have to have a look at the originating IPs of some of those, and play with that new site I found the other day, that gives a neat graphical representation of where the IP is located . walked in a light shower and found 2p . . PCd a bit of this . . .experimented some more with cameras etc. . looked up one of the 'returned/delivery failed' virusy e-mails as best I could and it pointed at Thailand as the origin! . . .PC/TVd . . ate corned beef sandwiches with two bags of crisps . . . napped for a few hours until woken by Sally, gone 6pm . . . walked after dark. HUGE numbers of kids were hanging around in groups all over the place! Passing one of group of kids, I overheard them on their mobile phones warning their friends to 'get out. Get out NOW!'. Two police cars were parked up next to the school with the officers dealing with something in the school grounds (another large group of kids). . taunts of 'informer' were called out as I walked back home past various groups. Overwhelmed with a feeling of trepdation and 'here we go then' with regard to the mayhem which will inevitably befall the area now the dark nights are here. I'm 'frightened' of the dark winter nights these days you know. :o( . . . little did I know - shortly after having returned home at around 8:10pm, a group of kids walking down the middle of the street egged my house - again. :o( ( CCTV footage) I ran out as they all ran down the 'usual' street - but only ended up saying something pathetically lame like 'so it starts again does it' - to which the last tallest kid in the group simply sauntered away with his back to me, giving me the finger with his raised hand. .rushed straight back out with the step ladder and a bowl of water to wash off the smashed eggs from the side of the bay windows. Had a go at throwing the bowl of water at the mess to wash it off, and 'to add insult to injury', ended up covering myself in cold water!! . . called the police and logged the incident - again. . . drove round the block a few times with BB, and with the cam-corder running on the dash mount. Left it too late and couldn't find any trace of who may have been included in the group. There was however a VERY large group hanging around near the school which came in for a bit of 'high beam' as I turned onto the high street (just so they'd come out well on the cam-corder video - just in case). So - there we go then - plunged straight back into my trapped nightmare, of being a defenseless target for whoever wants to have a go at me. Felt sick, and miserable - and poor BB is gonna have to be around me like I get when this stuff is going on. That's not good. Almost bit her head off when she suggested eating something. :o( . . stood in the attic for a while looking out of the skylight, listening to police sirens and such in the distance, pretty close to tears - or was it just the cold wind blowing in my eyes? What the hell has triggered them all of a sudden, to start on me all over again? Nothing much (relatively!) has happened for the last couple of months really. Then all of a sudden this!? It hadn't occurred to me, but BB suggested that maybe the groups over the school tonight had thought it was 'I' who had called the police!!! Can't win can I . . . PCd a bit of this with the CCTV camera on next to me with the volume turned way up. Sounds of sirens and fireworks exploding in the distance. .PCd the video footage. BB was pretty certain the group of kids I'd 'lit up' near the school and filmed on the cam-corder as we drove by, DID include the ones who'd egged the house, but I wasn't so sure, and all the CCTV/video footage was useless for any evidential value - just figures in the distance. . sat around in front the CCTV, up tight for hours. . eventually forced down some reheated beef, mash and gravy around midnight . eventually to bed getting on for 2am.
3 - Woken by Sally earlier, then again and up just before 8am . .waited until it was 'safe to do so' and then walked . . .drove with BB to shop. Stopped off at Rajani's . . on up to Gloucester Road for a SATA power and data cable from MSquared . . . on to ASDA for supplies. . . ate half a chicken and four pieces of bread and butter . . . napped . . . all walked (BB seems to have assumed the roll of my bodyguard!). Weird but, in the absence of groups of kids, tonight felt like a totally different, quieter night. .on the way home, a small bunch of kids was roaming the school grounds with a police car parked further along on the main road, with the policeman just climbing in over the fence. . a youth stood outside the chip shop avoided eye contact and turned away laughing, in such a way (impossible to explain) that it was obviously 'meant for me'. . . both sat around in front of the CCTV picture, anticipating more trouble . . around 8:20pm a noisy group of kids emerged from the usual direction (the road along which 'Little Xxxxxx' lives) , gathered on the opposite corner and then came across into the road and threw eggs at the house again. I didn't get to see the 'actual' throwing, because by that time I was on my feet and heading for the front door, gathering my door keys and belt pouch of camera, phone etc on the way. All I can remember is BB saying something like "They're doing it NOW" at which point I was out of the front door. As I emerged, the group split up and went in different directions - and it appeared a couple of inncoent youths passing by were shocked by what they'd seen. 'Which one - which one?' I asked them. 'The one on the bike' was the hesitant reply - which wasn't much use to me because there was more than one bike, and they were already pretty much out of sight. I ran after two who were running together off up the street. They ran for some distance with me running way behind, but it wasn't long before I was badly out of breath and I had to slow to a walk (VERY mindful of all those reports that SO frequently make the news, of people in such circumstances succumbing to a heart attack!). As I slowed to a walk, up ahead the two running kids jumped onto the back of their friends cycles, and off they all rode around the corner out of my sight. I ran back to the junction with my road and resumed walking, gasping for breath, expecting the cycles to come back down the road. They didn't. . I walked back home and got straight into my car. As I did so, BB emerged from my house saying she'd called the police and told them what was happening. (I was dismissive - yeah - I know all about calling the police about such things. They WON'T come!) I ignored BBs pleas that I should just come back inside, and after mounting the cam-corder on the dashmount, began pulling the car out from its parking place, almost hurting BB on my wing mirror in the process! Screeched away and drove around the block and up the street which joins the road in which 'Little Xxxxxx' lives (from which the egging group had emerged. From where ALL the yobs ALWAYS come from and go to!) A small group of youths was assembled on the corner there, watching Little Xxxxxx and a friend 'innocently' playing football in the street. The layout of the streets in this area means, that the group that egged my house absolutely MUST have passed little Xxxxxx on the way to my house. Inconceivable to me, that they could have done so without some contact with, if not 'egging on' from HIM. Why else would MY house be singled out for targetting like this? Little bastard, spawn of satan! . .drove around the block before returning home to poor worried BB. (actually, I can't imagine how appalling it must have been for her to be left there like that! Oh god, what have I become?!! :o( ) . . .

//-CCTVd - BB said she recognised 'that kid' on the pushbike as he rode out of the junction and up the street - // - raced out and back in the car (WITHOUT my phone/camera/ etc) following the kid on the push bike, right to the end of my street, across the main road and the wrong way up a one way street (waving my apologies at the guy driving towards me flashing his lights! I heard him call out as I drove past "It's allright mate. I did the same thing the other day.")!!!!!!. . up the street and round the corner I pulled in and stopped, facing the bike rider and a large group of youths congregated on the pavement and in the road. They saw me stopped there. A couple started pulling up their hoodies, abuse was shouted out, some walked into the road gesticulating, etc. After a short wait I drove down and past them all, at speed! Stopped out of sight on an adjoining road for a while before driving around the block intending to return home. As I did so, I passed that same kid on the pushbike going the other way with another kid on a bike. I turned the car around and followed behind at some distance, intending to 'just' keep them in sight sufficiently to be able to maybe follow them home and ascertain where they lived. Despite my attempts at keeping a good distance from them, and stopping here and there behind parked cars, they knew I was following. They cycled a LONG way, to another shopping precinct area, populated by more groups of rowdy kids hanging around, before I lost sight of them! This was all a shock to me. That this group of youths had come SUCH a distance (a mile?), specifically to egg MY house! That isn't by chance. :o(

-//- headed home back down my street slowly past first one group and then another all heading in the direction of my house - as I passed the second group something was thrown at my car. Stopped reveresed, jumped out and confronted the thrower. - surrounded by around a dozen - confrontation " What reaction do you want from me?""Just leave me alone!" - the red mist completely blinded me when one of them spontaniously accused me of being a paedophile! I grabbed his lapels to 'detain him', and began backing up towards my car pulling him with me - at which point a 'melee' ensued where the rest started 'having a go' (hitting/pulling) at me to release their friend - out of my depth, and not a single person from any nearby houses came out - (sudden realisation - I could die here!) backed away and returned to the car being bombarded with eggs. They said they'd be back with 'more' (people) tomorrow night - one egg hit me square, with force into my left temple and all over my face - drove away (oh SO easy to have driven AT them, but I managed to hold myself back - again, just) as the car was bombarded with eggs.

I later discovered evidence to show how much force was used in throwing those eggs at me. The paintwork on my car has been permanently damaged ('eggshelled' dare I say?) by one of the impacts!! . . returned home in a mess - physical and mental! :o( . . called the police again (999s tonight) and informed them briefly what had just occurred. Drove round the block with BB and the cam-corder running on the dash, but they'd all melted away into the night and I could find no trace of any of them. . Returned home and waited for the police to arrive - but of course they didn't. As usual I eventually received a call from them saying they couldn't send anyone out just now because they were very busy and were having a shift change. They'd get someone to come and see me later! . . waited for the police, just sat in a bit of a state! :o( . . . a nice policeman arrived (we'd met before!?) around 11pm to 'humor me' and do their usual useless PR excercise ( or at least that's how it seems to me). Only then did I rewind the VCR tape only to discover I'd messed up with the settings and got NOTHING of tonights madness and mayhem from the CCTV!!!!!!! Just hours of blank tape!!! I don't believe it! I think THAT failure made me feel almost worse than anything else about tonight! I could kick myself. :o( . . felt really ill, heart pounding, head and neck in a vice, etc. . Checked my e-mail at some point and co-incedentaly received abusive feedback from the site, which seemed like icing on the cake for my despair . . CCTVd until bed - tossed and turned with suicidal thoughts, until eventually to sleep in the early hours.
4 - Didn't get much sleep and got up around 6am. . my smokers chest is in a hell of poor congested state after that running last night! Breathlessness and coughing. :o( . . walked around 7:15am, to get it over and done with before the kids were out. (Which means I can walk her earlier tonight too!!) Walking in the road alongside the field was a dog - on it's own. That can be a busy road (especially around rush hour) and it was heart stopping to see the thing happily wander across the road to have a sniff at Sally through the fence. Jeeze - this I do NOT need - on top of everything else, this I do not need! :o( Leashed Sally up and wandered with her along to the end of the fence near the entrance, and sure enough the stray followed and happily came into the field within the fence. Friendly thing it was, and without 'too' much hassle, I managed to get hold of its collar (once I'd found it in the thick matted fur) and then slip Sally's lead off her and over its head. Gotcha! Damn - now what! There was a small plastic tag on the collar with a phone number on it. Roped in the assistance of a caring passer by (I had my hands full!) and got him to call the number on my mobile. He exchanged a word or two with whoever answered, and they confirmed they did NOT own a dog! Damn! That meant I was going to have to somehow struggle home with it, and then have all the hassle of getting it sorted! . . headed off across the field, with it pulling all the way, while trying to figure out how to get some form of leash for Sally. As luck would have it, laying near the building site fence was a length of blue nylon rope, which I was 'just' able to reach by laying on the floor. . made it home without 'too' much difficulty, with a dog either side of me! As usual, Sally was brilliant about having a strange dog invade her space like that, and apart from a period of much deafening barking from her (sorry neighbour - sleeping, on nights this week!) she mostly just put up with it. . ushered the stray out into the back garden and pretty much kept it out there, while ringing the council stray dogs number. Whoever answered the phone (almost immediately) was really helpful and soon called back to confirm they'd send the dog warden out to pick it up in around a quarter of an hour, 'allowing for the traffic'. . the stray (bitch) seemed quite happy to explore my little yard, drank from the pond, marked its territory here and there (!) and then proceeded to tear up the baby's tears all over the garden! Hmmph! Made a big mess of the place - but I guess that's the least of my worries at the moment. .I put some food down in a bowl for her, but supsingly (despite the audible rumblings coming from its stomach) it didn't seem too interested, and Sally soon after took care of it. . not sure how much stroking that dog has ever had, but it just loved it when I did. Stroking it under its tummy between its front legs had it leaning in against me, motionless for as long as I wanted to continue. Sally was remarkably accepting of the situation, even when the stray started doing some weird 'asserting dominance' behavior of deliberately standing right over her!!! On closer examination it was clearly neglected. It was pretty smelly and the fine thick fluffy fur, especially around its ears, was terribly matted in that way which only cutting out can cure! (Seemed to have a strange congenital malformation of the high claws on its back legs!??) Flea dirt was clearly visible on it, and it had slightly balding patches in a couple of places where you could see it had been repeatedly scratching and biting at its irritation. Poor thing - and the makings of SUCH a nice dog. (funny to be reminded of how well Sally and I have developed a mutual understanding/communication. The subtle movements and signals Sally responds to, were of course all ignored by this one!). As soon as I spotted the flea dirt, I figured it was best to get Sally back in the house away from becoming infested! . . eventually the young female dog warden turned up in her small council van. With no difficulty at all, I helped her replace Sally's lead with the metal strap she had, and then held onto the dog out by her van keeping it memerised by stroking its tummy, so she could do a quick microchip scan. The scan came up negative. The dog was more than happy to leap straight up into the 'kennel' in the back of the van. Said my goodbyes, wished it luck and eventually off she went with it. Sad. :o/ . . . showered and put all my egg and smelly dog hair covered clothes in the laundry . . PCd the morning away with coffee and cigarettes, producing a DVD copy of the CCTV footage etc from the 2nd, as the policeman last night had suggested I should. . . BB insisted on cooking up a ham, cheese toasty thing for me for lunch. Forced down just a half of it before feeling seriously nauseaus! I feel awful - just bloody awful - waiting for whatever tonight has in store for me. Really want to be unconscious right now. . eventually managed to nap for a couple of hours until around 4:30pm. . PCd a bit of this, just whiling away the hours (feeling sick) until whatever happens later, happens. :o( . .just as I'd put my shoes on and was heading for the door, the phone rang. It was a WPC saying she'd be over to have a word with me about things on Friday! The PC from last night had 'done an e-mail' and made everyone at the local station aware of the situation, and they'd be doing patrols in the area later. Blimey! Cool. . . all walked just a little early around 6:40pm. Found 7p. . Taunts of 'informer' from the sneering group of kids sat in the graffitiid doorway of the corner shop as we walked past on the way home. Awkwardly tried to walk next to BB and slightly behind, in such a way that I was between them and her - just in case anything was going to be thrown. It wasn't. . back home to man the CCTV camera and keep watch out of various vantage points. . Trying to be more objective about things (last night's response from me WAS on the edge of utter insanity!! ), and after BB had talked a bunch of sense to me, it was agreed that come what may, I'd simply have to sit and look on, as the yobs did whatever they wanted to do. We'd call the police if necessary of course, but since the police never turn out until hours later for such incidents, I'd simply have to sit and look on, powerless - and 'content' myself with trying to record the events! :o( . . an anxious and unpleasant wait - sweating, heart pounding, breathless, legs shaking, headache, chain smoking, etc, etc. The toll this stress is having on me, physically, is impossible to convey, particularly considering I am ill equipped to deal with a 'normal' amount of everyday stress at the best of times! . . time dragged on. The streets seemed unusually quiet (except for the noisy knackered moped that was cruising around the area - the helmeted rider had two unhelmeted girls on the back!) and a little light drizzle began to fall. . time wore on. The police WERE true to their word. I think BB or I saw a police car cruise up the street on at least three or four occasions. What joy! . .by around 9pm I'd begun to wind down a little, and tried my hardest to persuade myself that nothing was going to happen tonight. At least, not 'tonight'!. . as my anxiety eased, so did the 'physical' manifestations of my stress, and I managed to force down BB reheated half a chicken with peas and four pieces of bread and butter, without feeling 'too' sick. . Poor BB - the state I'm in, I'm really not 'with her' at the moment! :o( . .TVd/PCd and dissolved into a feeling of utter, utter exhaustion! Actually ended up feeling guilty that nothing had happened tonight - feeling as though I'd wasted valuable police time!! I can't win can I! . . eventually to bed a little after midnight only to toss and turn and be unable to sleep for ages. Sleep some time in the early hours. aaa
5 - Up around 7:15am . . PCd a bit of this waiting until later to walk. . walked in the rain and found 22p. . . Mum called to touch base and confirm Sis2 had safely arrived back wherever she now is. Told her about the latest events and reaffirmed that there WAS enough space in her garage for storing some 'boxes', in the event things escalate and I suddenly need to bale out of here (as was very nearly my intent during the events of the third!). :o( . . .PCd this - with difficulty - trying to type up as accurately and honestly as I can, the events of the 3rd, complete with my insane responses to them (before my mind absolutely insists on almost completely forgetting the painful details, as is its way!)! . It incurs enduring the physical effects of re-living my emotional responses! Not good. Has to be done in pieces, with long breaks. :o( . . . ate a BB cooked bacon and sausage omlette with hashbrowns . . . PCd and applied a restore to solve something that wasn't right after I'd experimented with, installed and removed the latest Quickcam Express software for the webcam . . . drove Bb in the rain to post a letter . . vacuumed briefly . . managed to nap for just an hour or so. . . all walked around 6:45pm, but my anxiety was getting to me again, and I ended up feeling pretty breathless and unwell and cut the walk a little shorter than usual. Passed a small group of 'the usual suspects' on the way home. Both BB and I made prolonged eye contact with some of them as we passed. Once we'd passed, one of them started 'singing' some tune or other, for 'our benefit', but the insult was lost on us because neither of us could recognise the tune. . . back home to anxiously man the cameras. At getting on for 8pm, a group of youths came down the street and disappeared up the 'usual' side street. Raced into the attic with the cam-corder to try and see where they went (actually hoping to be able to prove a link with Little Xxxxxx). As I watched out of the attic, some of the group were hanging around 'just' round the corner, obviously 'brewing up' to do something. Just then I heard a neighbour shouting out as the kids ran away further up the street (the CCTV camera should have captured whatever they did - I'll check the tape later). . . the group gathered way off in the distance, on the street corner more or less immediately opposite little Xxxxxx's house! I 'think' I saw a figure emerge to join them from the direction of his house, but failed to capture it on camera and can't be sure. Attempted to film the group as they hung around, but they were a long way off in the dark, and the camera really isn't up to that sort of challenge. Not long after they all disappeared off out of sight . (BIG 'contained in something' firework type explosion somewhere around the neighborhood at one point!) . .spent the whole evening, obsessively running around like a man gone mad, messing with cameras and doing everything I could to get a time line of 'evidence' of events, absolutely convinced that they'd be back to target me later. Whether or not they do, I now live under the pressure of an ever present 'threat'. :o( . . finally, hours later I called it quits and accepted that was it for another night. . rewound the VCR tape to review whatever had happened earlier, only to have the machine trap the tape!!! ARRrggghhh! . . carefully cut the tape, extracted it from the machine, and then dismantled the cassette and attempted to salvage the footage from earlier. Success. Took hours until well after midnight before I managed to locate the part of the tape of interest - but it showed one of the youths run out from the side street, right up close in front of someone elses house up the street, and throw an egg before running off. It was at this point that the neighbour who'd happened to be out in the street at her car had shouted out at him. . . grabbed a couple of bowls of muesli and then put in the hours to transfer all the footage to the PC and then knock up a replacement DVD for the police, which included all tonights footage. . . finally to sleep some time after 2:30am! aa
6 - 'Crystal Night'? - Pivotal moment in my life - Woken by Sally around 7:20am . . PCd a bit of this with coffee and cigarettes. Nasty headache! . .walked . . PCd and set a DVD burning of the 'full' historical compilation of anti social incidents I've suffered over the last year or more . . . sat around waiting for the local beat manager to arrive. Around 11am a representative from the local victims support called and said they'd pop in to have a chat later. Around 11:30am PC 2573 Michelle Dawe, the St George East 'beat manager' arrived in a dark windowed type transit van. With BB in attendance, I recorded the conversation! With BBs help I outlined at length the entire year+ long history of the abuse I have received, together with the details surrounding the assault made on me by Lee Boyce father of Charlie Boyce and how he had threatened to make it impossible for me to continue living here. Recording transcript extracts: Me / BB / PC

What a total waste of F***ING time SHE was! A F***ING hedge for christsake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What planet is SHE living on! She just didn't 'get it' did she!

touched base with PS and said 'tonight?' . . .

Walked around 7pm. -//-

On the way back from the field, after having walked past a group of kids, one of them started calling out at me - by name!! "Terry, - Terry, - TERRY, - T L Jones UK!" I ignored the calls and returned home to delete the majority of my website. I'd always reconciled myself to the fact that at the first sign of anyone like that in the immediate vicinity becoming aware of the site, that I'd have to delete all the 'personal' stuff, lest it should be 'used against me'. I always have kept a close watch on the homepage counter in the hope that it would act as a guide of how much interest people are showing in the site. There had been no recent sudden increases in traffic, so perhaps it was just one person that had stumbled across it and hadn't yet put the word out to the local yobs. . rather than delete the lot, I deleted some of the most personal stuff, crippled some of the links and left a much stripped down version in place. .PCd a bit of this, while keeping an eye on the CCTV picture. As I watched, a huge group of youths approached up the street and gathered all along the pavement opposite my house!!! It was certainly a group (dare I say a 'mob'!!) of in excess of a dozen people, male and female. I can remember actually panning the CCTV camera along the opposite side of the street and seeing more and more of them all lined up and milling around all along the street! Abuse and gesticulations were directed at my house (and a wave or two at my CCTV camera), and small groups and individuals sporadically ran across the road to hurl eggs at my house. The 'mob' was in no hurry to leave and actually stood out there for some time, obviously waiting for me to come out. That WAS what they were doing. They were deliberately trying to draw me out!!!! This was different. This was VERY upsetting. This was frightening. I think I may have barked orders to BB that she should prepare herself for exiting out the back with Sally if needs be! :o( . . Scared, I stayed inside, dialled 999 and reported things to the police. Eventually, after what seemed like a VERY long time, the group gradually wandered off - and yes, as usual, they all went around the corner and down Sherwood Road. The road to yobsville!. . as soon as I was off the phone with the police I raced up into the attic to see if I could see which way they all went (and to maybe see if there was any connection with Charlie Boyce's house, at number 14 which of course they all must have walked past) but by the time I got up there I couldn't see any particular sign of any of them!? Within perhaps ten minutes of my original 999 call, as I watched from the attic I saw a police car or two emerge from the Sunnybank side street and drive away from me along and to the end of Sherwood Road. . a short time later a police car pulled up opposite and the male and female occupants came to my door. The garden and front of my house was covered in eggs. Some had hit my neighbours house too (on the CCTV picture it actually looked as though some of the youths had 'deliberately' thrown the eggs at my neighbour's house!??). The two police reviewed the CCTV footage and tried to say the right thing, but pretty much accepted that the footage was useless for identification/evidence purposes. They asked if a 'statement' had been taken from me about the events on the 3rd ( No? ) and what had been done about it (nothing of course - except the beat manager visiting with a suggestion I should grow a hedge!!?). They suggested I should contact the Inspector at the station in an attempt to get something done. They 'gave the impression' of being 'frustrated' with the way policing was being handled in the area!!!!!?? Eventually they left simply saying that I should call the police again if anything else happens! :o(. . . PS arrived for coffee and chats. Poor guy - he hardly got a word out of me. I was just too distressed and up tight to do anything but monitor the CCTV. Very windy out, and the damned noise of the gusts on the CCTV camera microphone was torture. .touched base with Mum and asked if she could sound-out Uncle T. to see if it would be possible for me, BB and Sally to maybe stay in his (unoccupied) cottage for a while. I'd be more than willing to pay an appropriate rent. She said she'd ask - probably tomorrow because it was a bit late to bother them now. . briefly checked the PC for mail and received some further 'disturbing' feedback from the site - sent 'just' after the mob had had their fun!

Promptly deleted the entire online website. . sat around with PS, mind racing! . . . Around 11:15pm three 'suspicious' hooded figures walked down the road opposite. I panned the camera around to keep an eye on them and as I did so, they all ran into the road towards my house and then threw what turned out to be bricks, at my car! By the time the slowly panning CCTV camera was back up to cover the road, they'd disappeared. Called the police 999 emergency number again to report the incident, before even going outside to look at the damage (going outside at that time felt like an unsafe and unwise thing to do - so I didn't!). . PS seemed a bit 'disturbed' by being at the sharp end of things for once, and worried about his own car parked out in the street, left shortly afterwards (unknown to me, he insisted that BB promise she'd get me out of there!). Walked out as PS left and had a quick look at what was left of my car. One brick was inside the car, a couple more were on the pavement nearby. The front passenger side window was smashed and glass was everywhere. Retreated back inside to wait for the police. Instructed BB to go pack her bags - NOW! . . waiting for the police under such circumstances, is gonna seem like a pretty long scary wait at the best of times. All the more so when you suddenly realise that your only means of escape - the car - has just been 'denied you' by the yobs!! . it's Friday night isn't it!! Busy night for the police (both of them?!!). I rang the police again at 12:15am and explained what had happened and made it clear that I was waiting to leave ('escape') the property, but didn't feel safe to do so until I had a police presence (protection!). The call handler gave me the usual "We're very busy" response and said they'd get someone there as soon as they could. . keeping an eye on the CCTV pictures in every room, I raced to pack some stuff. What exactly DO you pack under such circumstances? (I've seen plenty of footage of 'refugees' carrying their possessions on TV - never thought I'd be one!) Threw a few clothes, valuables, paperwork, dog food/bowls, etc into bags and then roughly tore away at both PCs (literally throwing bits around as I unscrewed them) and removed all the hard drives and got those into the bags as well. . at some point during this panic, the neighbour (who'd had her car keyed the other day and had popped in for a chat - who I'd given a copy of my 'nightmare' DVD to) returned home. I watched her on the CCTV observe my smashed up car and the brick laying on the pavement - and watched her as she ignored it and calmly went into her house!??! Cheers then! . .minimal bags packed and sat waiting for the police, we watched the CCTV image as a white van pulled up in the street opposite, stopped and turned its lights out. The driver appeared to be 'checking out' the houses in my terrace!? (I'm not so sure but BB said it looked as though he was having a good look at my house and up at the CCTV camera!) After waiting in his van there for a while, he re-started the engine and eventually drove off. He drove around the block and re-emerged some minutes later slowly crossing the crossroads junction just yards from where he was parked (it would have been easier for him to have reversed), once again having a good look down the street! Possibly unconnected but certainly unnerving given my state of mind by that time. . at LAST! At long, long last, around 1am a police car pulled up outside. Turned out to be the same two police who'd called in earlier! I tried not to be rude, but made it clear that no matter how busy they were, they 'MUST' stay for as long as it takes for me to leave. Reluctantly they 'more or less' agreed. With the police protection, I was finally able to go out and have a good look at the car and make sure it would be driveable. (I'd already cut off a big sheet of 'damp proof membrane' plastic and sorted out a roll of thick parcel tape, with which I planned to 'seal' off the smashed passenger side window, sufficient to be able to drive the two hours down the motorway to Mums.) Things turned out to be worse than I'd first thought. The brick that had been ignored by the neighbor had actually 'bounced' off the windscreen, AFTER having smashed it. Not completely smashed into pieces, but severely cracked in a 'spidersweb' pattern, in a couple of different places! Jeeze!! No way would THAT stand up to a two hour motorway pounding!! Now what? . the police mentioned the possibility of DNA on the bricks and about getting a tracker dog out, but eventually concluded that because it had been more than two hours since the incident, there would be no useable evidence/scent left by now. (THAT really pissed me off! So - if they hadn't taken two hours to respond to the 999 call, they 'may' have been able to trace the individuals involved! Now it was just too late! It's just like there isn't a police force any more!!!!!!) . . after some discussion and utter despair on my part, the police suggested they would escort me somewhere driving my 'unfit for the road' car, as long as it wasn't too far away. In desperation I called Sis1, woke her up, briefly explained that we needed to get out and could we spend the night there. She said yes right away, thank goodness. I really couldn't think of ANYWHERE else we could go! . handed over the two videos of tonights madness to the police (which means I don't have a copy myself! I'm gonna want those back some time!!) . . brushed a little of the broken glass from the drivers seat, crammed Sally and bags into the back, locked up the house and slowly set off for Sis1s, with BB given a lift in the police car following along behind. "Escorted away from my home by the police, for my own safety!" I don't believe it! I just can't believe this is happening - in this country - in this day and age! In shock. :o( . . drove pretty slowly, not particularly wanting a speeding ticket from the guys behind on top of everything else, but also because I was worried by the real possibility I'd end up with a face full of broken windsheild at any moment! . . arrived at Sis1s without any problem. The police dropped off BB and left us there bidding us 'Good luck'. . unloaded stuff from the insecure car, stuffed the DPC in across the broken passenger window, and went in for coffee and chats. . .eventually bedded down after 4am with pillows, blankets and duvets on the floor of Sis1s living room, with BB on the sofa and Sally in her adjoining conservatory.
7 - Woken earlier by the sound of one of Sis1s lodgers leaving for work, and then by Sally around 7am or earlier. I was absolutely climbing the walls, itching to get on with trying to sort out the mess I was now in, but without a useable car and with everyone still asleep - what could I do? What AM I going to do - about any of it?????????? I don't EVER want to have to go back there - not after this.. . sat around outside chain smoking trying to figure stuff out. Eventually found Sis1s portable phone and immediately transferred some of my savings over into my current account, to enable me to 'fund' stuff. . As soon as I figured it was late enough, I called Mum asking if she'd spoken with Uncle T. about his cottage yet. She said she had last night, but they were 'reluctant'. It was agreed I'd call him myself. I was feeling oh so UTTERLY desperate and consumed with urgency but managed to wait until around 8am before calling him and asking if we could stay at the cottage for maybe a few weeks (or however long he said was ok) - paying an appropriate rent of course. He said he'd 'have to think about it' and would call back. Instead, Mum called back on his behalf and said he was sorry, but no. That was actually rather unexpected. I'm sure he must have had a good reason, but - well - I wouldn't have asked if I wasn't absolutely bloody desperate! So much for 'family'. :o( I need to make sure I don't bump into them for a while. I may find it hard to be civil. :o( . . dug out my RAC card from my wallet and called the emergency glass replacement number listed on it - the glass co called back and said they'd be out soon - waited around while the car windscreen was replaced - the guy returned after getting the 'tinted' side window - All installed ok-ish despite the window frame dent. - windscreen replacement £178.21. . .Mum suggested a chalet. Eventually in desperation and having absolutely no choice, called her back and said yes please - book one. - ate some of last nights BB cooked, cold, well-travelled pizza - left Sally safely at Sis1s and drove 'home' with BB to grab some more of our belongings - Back at the house had a conversation with both neighbors and LB. One of the neighors car had been lightly 'dinged' on the plastic bumper by the brick that bounced off my windscreen and ended up on the pavement!! - loaded up the car and away. Stopped for fuel - 33.76ltrs @ £29 - stopped at the library to hand in the book BB had out, and to cancel her order for another. Just then Sis1 called and said she was just about to take Sally out for a walk with her guy!! (worry) - stopped and raced to the post office but it was shut - drove back to Sis1s to unload and sort a few things out and then re-load the car, leaving a bunch of stuff stored in Sis1s entrance hall - Sis1 gave us a bite to eat - All on the motorway heading south around 5pm.. .arrived around 7pm. Already all booked by Mum. 'Two adults and one dog' no one dog and two adults! £30 for the dog!! £5 electricity card - Holiday Park £185 for a week. Ouch!! - shoebox chalet. Not impressed - walked Sally in the pitch black and lost her bad tummy squirty poop - back to eat BB re-heated even more well travelled pizza! - to bed UTTERLY exhausted around 10pm.
8 - Up around 7am. Walked. Poop scooped last night's 'squirt'! Picked up Mum and broght her back to the chalet. Dropped Mum off home and then drove with Sally and BB to the harbor front for Fish and chips. . . ate back at Mums . . LB called . . returned to the chalet intending to nap but couldn't sleep . .BB napped . . Big rain. . .walked Sally in the rain. Felt awful and a bit ill. Sat on the seat beneath the roof for over an hour in tears. Returned to the chalet to sit quietly in the dark until eventually waking BB up around 8pm. . .forced down a pork pie Mum'd brought for Sally . . . eventually to bed around midnight.

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9 - A dreadful nights sleep - wake - sleep -wake - sleep - wake - and then actually fell out of the bed onto the floor! Walked . . . drove to Mums to make phone calls - etc. Legal Housing advice line Not 'worth' suing Lee Boyce. Probably no emergency housing because I am not a priority case, unless I 'play' the 'schizoid disorder' card. No.

Didn't take long to ascertain there really is no help for me. Gave Haydn's name to the beat manager . . . Drove to shop. Costcutter groceries £24.22 . . . Back to the chalet and no dog lead! Dropped off Sally and BB to make 6 pieces of B and B pate/lettuce/tomato sandwiches. Raced back to Mums to pick up the lead . . .back to the chalet to eat BB sandwiches with two bags of crisps. . . napped for a couple of hours only to wake overheating and feeling awful . . .all walked and sat on seats overlooking the darkening bay for a while . . .back to TV write this and eat a handful of mince pies..

10 - Up at 7:30am led next to Sally on the floor!!! - walked - dropped Sally off at Mums and then both hit the road complete with a bag of laundry, and headed 'home' - Unpleasant feeling driving across town and into the neighborhood - Sis2 called - felt AWFUL loading stuff into the car under the guarding gaze of the CCTV camera. Didn't want to be seen by ANYone! Humiliating! -29.10ltrs@£25 and a tin of Redbull - traffic standstill, with the heater on like a sauna trying to keep the engine from overheating - dropped off food at the chalet before on to Mums to unload everything and then pick up Sally - walked - ate Bb cooked pork chops and stuffing - early to bed around 11pm

11 - Woken by Sally before 7am - walked and broke my new shoe right away! For F***S sake!! . . eventually back to the chalet and caught a bit of BBC breakfast TV. Seem to be emotionally 'wide open' at the moment and cried over a 'Jewish holocaust' film excerpt!! . . . all walked down town and to the library for BB to get on the PC . left Bb looking around a charity shop and went to get a property paper - ice cream (toffee chunks) on the harborside - Spotted Uncle T messing around with his boat! - back to eat quiche and rgue about laundry!? - left BB and Sally with luandry out to dry on the communal chalet rotary clothes line and drove to Mums - Had a tearful 'moment' on arrival after finding NOTHING I could afford in the property paper!! :o(- wasn't going to bother but eventually went ahead and had a go at sorting out my main PC. Sorted through multiple bags looking for all the pieces and passed them to Mum to clean. The Beat Manager called to say -um-nothing!? She's now on holiday for two weeks!! (So where the hell does that leave me? Am I supposed to just carry on as normal, walk by and accept the daily abuse and potentially more attacks from the untouchable yobs??? HOPELESS! F***ing police! They're F***ING useless! ) . . . much confusion over which hard drive was which and mistakenly tried to boot machine 1 with the drive from machine 2!! Uh oh - that's buggered it! It's demanding a fresh registration! damn, damn, damn!! Pulled the plug, just in case it wasn't too late - but I think it is! :o( . . at length managed to get the main PC set up on a corner-unit in Mums spare bedroom all working ok, and even on line with the oh SO slow, dial up modem. . . pushed on and reinstated a 'stripped-down-to-the-bare-minimum' website complete with a 'safe' old Yahoo e-mail address. I feel obliged to eventually explain to anyone who may be wondering, what has happened to me/the site, but also, more important to me at the moment, want any local people with knowledge of the site to have the ability to send me abuse etc. if they choose. At the very least, (if there was anything serious/relevant) I'd be able to provide the police with an IP address (although in reality, I already know don't I - the police simply aren't gonna do a damn thing about any of it are they. I'm just not worth the bother. The destruction of my life is meaningless to them/everyone)! Reinstatement of a more 'full' site, WILL occur - but it simply isn't safe to do so until the house is sold. . . back to the chalet around 6:30pm. Helped BB gather in the 'still as wet as when it was put out' laundry! . . . all walked. Cold clear sky. . . ate (BIG) BB cooked spaghetti bolognese, four pieces of bread and butter and a superfluous side salad. . TVd until bed.

12 - Up before 7am - walked - dropped Sally off at Mums - all drove back up to Bristol to salavage more of my belongings - packed up more stuff - ate BB made sandwhiches - Bb used the phone and managed to reschedule her return flight for the 23rd - the guy from victim support rang back at the home and pretty much just said 'Good luck'! - stopped for gas -27.94ltrs@£24 and headed back down - reached Mums by around 6pm after another 'sauna drive in traffic'!! - unloaded the car into the garage - mince pies and coffee - checked e-mails - walked in a really down mood - sat in Battery gardens for AGES! Saw a 'shooting star'. Busy fishing boats in the dark. - back to the chalet to be miserable and make BBs life a misery :o( - sat on the steps outside, tearful drinking wine - ate a pastry pie - fell asleep on the sofa/bed.
Friday the 13th - Woken around 6am by Sally climbing onto the bed and laying down to sleep, almost pushing me out! Up before 7am - walked - thinking, thinking, thinking, can't stop thinking, but no matter how I try to figure things out, there is NO way. Totally trapped! :o( - drove to Mums - mobile phone top up of £20 -
14 - Walked - dropped Sally off at Mums - drove with BB back up to Bristol. Stopped at Sis1s and picked up BBs second case and all the rest of the stuff left there - on to the house to grab more stuff - ate Bb cooked burgers - loaded up, stopped for gas 27.94ltrs @ £24 and then back on the road to Mums - unloaded, picked up Sally - walked - ate Bb made spam sandwichs - TVd until bed.
15 - Walked. Much litter and tea light from last nights 'pill box' partyers! . . - slow getting going. Paid for the chalet up until the day after BB leaves. -Brixham Holiday Park £205 - Too tired to trip to Bristol again as I'd been tempted, and ended up leaving Sally with BB at the chalet and drove to Mums - grabbed a couple of cardboard boxes for packing up stuff from the local shop bin! - ate Mum made corned beef sandwich - ran out of steam packing stuff and back to the chalet to nap for a couple of hours - walked - TVd - ate BB cooked chicken and mushroom pie and chips - TVd until bed.
16 - Woken by Sally around 6:45am . . slow getting going again and then tearful/walked. - left Sally with BB and drove up to Bristol alone for more salvaging of stuff - some rain. Stationary on the motorway - eventually passed a horse box and Land Rover 'incident'! - at the house (no longer a home) by around midday - packed up more 'junk' - some plates, mugs, cutlery, books, curtains etc etc. - thunder and lightning! - ate a tin of microwaved stewed steak with four pieces of bread and butter in front of the CCTV camera image. Finished off with a choc ice - the neighbour (who'd had her car keyed) popped in to ask how things were and to commiserate and say how sorry she was - filled the car to the brim complete with main TV/blanket box/circular saw/old records/stone Buddha etc etc etc etc!!! Gassed up 27.09ltrs @ £23 and back on the road before 4pm and the danger of darkness. - drove straight back down to Mums - unloaded - back to the chalet with some tins of food - and the vaccuum cleaner! - walked. Someone sleeping rough in the pill box again - exhausted and 'tetchy' again! Poor BB! :o( collapsed in front the TV but not seeing any of the programs - ate Bb cooked chips and spam - ended up unconscious around 11pm.

17 - Woken by Sally around 6:45am again . . . walked and did the long walk up through the woods and down to the beach at Churston cove. Sally 'paddled' in the water! Eventually climbed the steep path back up the 'cliff' and returned. . BB cooked up a VERY welcome fried egg, hash browns, sausage and bread and butter breakfast - and set the smoke alarm off repeatedly! . . TVd as BIG rain poured . . . drove to Mums to do phone calls to change some of my addresses on stuff. LOTS of automated nonsense and 'on hold'. Arrrgggghhhh! - ate a Mum made corned beef sandwich and then back to the chalet - 'argument' with BB! :o( Felt unbelievably trapped with nowhere to escape to. Stormed out and sat on the rocks at the waters edge below Battery Gardens for a few hours. Tearful. Toyed with death by drowning. - sat in a pill box for a while, seeing what it felt like to be one of 'those' guys, attracting passing stares! Wasn't 'so' bad, apart from the cold! - eventually back to the chalet (hypothermic!) because I really had nowhere else to go! Felt utterly desperate and longed for comfortable solitude. Longed for 'my home' I guess. - ate spam sandwhich - sleep around 11pm.
18 - Up around 7am, aching bad! - slow getting going - walked - all drove to Mums to check e-mails etc - rang up and cancelled my council tax direct debit - transferred £1k to BBs account to enable her to immediately survive when she gets home - boxed up some of my stuff out in the garage. PUT MY BACK OUT!!!!!!! I don't believe it! - ate corned beef and tomato sandwhiches with crisps - eventually back to the chalet in agony! - took a couple of BBs weird muscle relaxant tablets and napped for a couple of hours. - walked with extreme difficulty - TVd - ate BB cooked corned beef hash - Felt light headed and woozey (BBs tablets?) and had to lay down to ease the pain by around 10pm. - weird fitful sleep.
19 - Woken around 5am by Sally 'licking' (?) - snoozed on until up around 7am - walked in pain! Plenty annadin - drove to Mums and arranged estate agent valuations on the house for Monday, on the hour from midday onwards - Nightmare using two phones at once! -

20 - Poor nights sleep and then woken by Sally barking at something or other around 5am! Couldn't get back to sleep and sat around waiting for daylight. . . walked the long walk through the woods to Churston cove, back through the woods to Battery Gardens and then eventually back to the chalet . . .all walked down town for BB to do her library PCing . . . walked along the high street looking in all the estate agents windows. Not good news. :o( . . .

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21 - Woke around 5:30am with still a BAD headache! Sat around sucking annadins, drinking coffee and watching TV until daylight . . walked at 7:30am through the woods down to Churston Cove and then back more or less the same way to avoid the nasty cliff steps climb for once . . left BB trying to sort out her stuff and drove to Mums with one of her broken cases to attempt a 'Heath Robinson' emergency repair! Took long hard hours for some reason but eventually succeeded in a 'as good as it can get' result by using Mums (Dads) hot glue gun!! - returned to the chalet and forced Bb to empty out case number 2 so I could do a similar botch on that one. Dropped BB off at the harbor to do shopping for gifts on tyhe way back to Mums with sally and the bag . . . eventually back to the chalet and just having a coffee when BB called (Mum and then Mum me) on the mobile ready to be picked up . . raced down to the harbor to pick up BB complete with a couple of small pots of coffee ice cream as a treat . . back to the chalet and ate Mum donated sausage rolls . . . all walked the woods down to Churston cove and back the hard way . . . TVd . . . all walked to the on site laundromat with bags of laundry but it was shut . . TVd . . ate Bb cooked spam and chips . . . LOTS more people on the holiday complex in all the vans and chalets with the start of the half term break. Unpleasant . . in bed before 11pm.
22 - Broken sleep then up around 4:30am! Difficulty getting back to sleep then woken by Sally shortly after 7am - walked while BB did laundry - popped up Mums to check e-mails and for BB to confirm her flight - back to the chalet in TORRENTIAL rain (all day pretty much. Everything SO damp!)! - ate Mum supplied mini sausage rolls with two bags of crisps - napped for only a while in between Sally barking at the chalet noises - walked in windy drizzle - spent the whole day feeling SO uptight and miserable - bathed - ate Bb cooked chips and spam - TVd until bed around 10:30pm. Difficulty getting to sleep. Alarm/watch/phone alarm all set.

23 - Woken by BB getting up to use the bathroom around 4am, just before the first of my alarms was due to go off anyway!. . . raced out and walked Sally in the cold dark damp night air. She got to chase a rabbit and thankfully did her pooping duties right on cue. . briefly thought to stop back at the chalet for BB to say goodbye to Sally and then rushed her into the car and drove to drop her off in Mums garage. Predictably Mum was already awake and came out as I locked Sally in. . straight back to the chalet and loaded up the car with BBs two big heavy wheeled suitcases and carry ons. Did one last look around the chalet (under the bed etc.) making sure Bb'd left nothing and then straight off and on the road, heading for Bristol Airport. . I'd planned to take the unfamiliar signposted airport exit off the motorway before Bristol, but 'just' before that exit BB announced that she needed to stop at the next set of services which was after the exit, so I carried on past. . briefly stopped at the services just to use the bathrooms and then got straight back on the road and ended up heading off the motorway at the Avonmouth turnoff. That meant I had to join the already backlogged rush hour traffic and follow the Portway into Bristol before heading back out to the airport along the A38 at Bedminster. Lots of frustrating crawling along but still reached the airport real early around 8am with the 'required' hours to spare. Dropped off BB with her bags at the terminal before driving round to dump the car in one of the short stay car parks (remembering this time to scrawl the parking area on the back of my hand with a ball point pen before I walked away. I'm getting SO absent minded with all this nonsense going on - I'd have definitely forgotten where I left it if I hadn't!).

cigs-burger and chips-bye @ around 9:45am - drove straight to the house and packed up more stuff waiting for the market valuations. - wouldn't you know it! A card had been delivered by the Post Office saying that the tobacco BB had asked a friend to send her, had finally arrived and was at the Post Office (since Friday) awaiting payment of fees. . . waited and waited for the first valuer to turn up, but the agreed time of midday came and went. Finally called them to ask where they were only to be told that the guy had phoned in sick this morning and they'd have to re-schedule. Apparantly they HAD phoned and texted me to tell me, but I'd had my mobile turned off! Ate a choc ice while waiting for the next.

loaded the car up to the max with tools/tupperwares/assorted 'junk' etc. and after stopping for gas 31.80ltrs @ £27 was back on the road again by around 4:15pm. . heavy rain on the way back down with near zero visibilty in places from the spray. Nasty! . . drove straight to the chalet to pick up a couple of the bulky duvets (to make the clear out tomorrow easier) and then on to Mums to drop everything off in the garage. Garage is looking full!! - back to the chalet with Sally - walked in the thunder and lightning. A pretty spectacular show from my usual sitting place 'under the roof' on Battery Gardens . . . TVd. Mum called to confirm BB had called and was safely arrived in Newark. . . ate liver sausage sandwhiches with two bags of crisps. . . BB called to touch base . . TVd but felt exhausted and was soon to bed, real early.

24 - Up early . . .walked in the dark . .packed as much as possible into the car, crammed Sally in the little space behind the seats and drove to Mums to drop it all off . . straight back to the chalet to dish wash, clear up, empty the fridge, wipe, vaccuum, put the furniture back in place, etc etc etc!! -Uh oh! chip pan!!!! - stove!!!!!!! - checked out without anyone even bothering to look at the chalet. . drove to Mums and promptly had a tearful moment in the garden (with 'Dad')!! - Mum had fitted out the spare bedroom as 'my' room real nice - usual argum,ents about Sally coming in etc etc, but Mum was absolutely determined that we should BOTH sleep in there and NOT the garage (as I actually preferred) , so I gave in - messed around in the garage packing up clothes etc. - ate Mum made Brussel pate sandwhiches with crisps. Big hassle with Mum trying to find space for all my food tins, crisps, biscuits etc. There just isn't that much storage space in her house for some reason. . . kept on delaying the actual point at which Sally would come in, until the last possible moment, so she spent the majority of the day in the garden . . .received a letter in the mail already from the estate agent, confirming they were acting to sell my house! They don't hang about do they. . . ate Mum made cheese on toast

25 - Woken by Mum using the bathroom around 6am . . PCd briefly and deleted all the junk mail . .coffee and cigarettes in the garage and then walked in full waterproofs in the rain around 7am

did paperwork and balanced my chaotic accounts - eventually - just! . . .

the valuer from Taylors called so I confirmed I'd go with them. I need to sign some paperwork so I arranged to meet her at my house at 1pm tomorrow. Called the two other estate agents and made my courtesy 'not this time thanks' calls.

- ate Mum cooked sausages, mash and beans - walked in sprinkles of rain and strong winds - to bed by 11pm.
26 - Woken by Sally licking herself and being restless around 5:30am - walked early - pumped up the oh SO low car tyres/checked oil/water - left Sally in the garage and on the road by 8:30am - poor young seagull was sat on the pavement, right next to the passing traffic. Not long for this world. TERRIBLE feeling of sadness!! - watched in the rear view mirror as a motorbike fell off a lorry, but was still tied to it and was dragged down the road!! - back at the house, SH called in the middle of me racing around! - collected up a bunch of junk and the metal chest full of stuff I've been keeping for decades becsue it 'could' be useful some day, and drove to the council tip. Tipped the whole chest full of delights, straight into the landfill heap! :o( - drove on to Sis1s and dropped off the VAX I said she should have - raced back to the house and packed up and sorted out more stuff - called the Cable company and told them to disconnect the service, phone and all. - ate the Mum supplied pastie and crisps - BB called - the estate agent turned up for signatures etc around 1:30pm. So - the house is offically up for sale then. :o( . . . loaded up the car with lots of my junk. Saw the next door neighbor who seemed to want to tell me all about her new boyfriend!? She also confirmed that she DID have mice! She'd put down traps and caught five already!! . . collected up all the jars of spices and remotely useable 'in date' cooking stuff from the now empty kitchen cupboards and dropped it all up by LBs front door in a big plastic bag for her to use or throw away as desired . .finally emptied the fridge and rather full freezer and packed all the frozen food in bags and wrapped it all up in the front of the car in a sleeping bag for added insulation - on the road again around 3:30pm, stopped for gas (29.45ltrs @ £25) and then headed for Aztec West to return the cable company hardware (TV box and broadband modem) and to get a receipt, in order to avoid the alleged £250+ replacement fees!!! . . Back on the motorway around 4pm, only to end up 'parked' for a good 30 minutes in soime stationary tail back from an 'incident'. Typical - with all that freezer stuff on board! - raced back to Mums - freezer stuff turned out to be stil pretty frozen and ok-ish. - Mum tipped frozen peas all over the kitchen! - SO tired - fishing out peas from under the freezer when Sis2 called around 7:15pm - just too damned tired so left the unloading of the car until some other time - walked - a small group of 'rowdy' (by round here's standards) teens down the road saw me walk past in DREAD! - back to eat Mum made ham sandwich, crisps and yoghurt. Almost too tired to eat/talk! . . BB called . LB called to say thanks for the kitchen stuff . . to bed just after 10pm..
27 - Happy F***ING birthday - NOT! . . . Up to the sound of Sally licking around 6:30am . . woke with coffee and cigs and jotting this on paper in the garage. 8 degrees C! Walked after 7:30am the long walk through the woods to Churston. A nice dry and bright morning. I was doing ok until I returned and Mum saw me passing the living room window heading for the garage, and flung open the window and said a cheery happy birthday! Grrrrr! Yeah. Right. NOT! . went in to make coffee and mum had left a birthday card for me by my cup. That got me all morose and tearful. . Mum tried to be positive about the house and stuff, but I wasn't in the mood and argued all bad. - ate muesli - spent the whole day pretty much, packing more boxes in the garage. . Bb called to say the dreaded 'happy birthday' and was sworn at! - the local beat manager called to say she'd handed the videos to the local school police officer, but he hadn't looked at them yet and was now on leave until the 5th of November!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Are they taking the piss or what! - walked - smoked/guitarred in the garage much of the evening. Felt very weird. First time in a LONG time, I've not felt 'under the threat of imminant attack'. Hard to explain. I've had to become used to it. It'd become 'normal'. - ate doughnuts - Sis2 called to say happy Birthday - ate Mum microwaved chicken curry with four piecss of bread and butter - BB called - soon to bed, around 11pm, exhausted.
28 - Up around 7:15am - walked - packed up stuff into boxes in the garage ALL day!!!! Received various mobile phone calls about multiple house viewings - ate a Mum bought cheese and onion pastie somehwre in between packing up more boxes - ate ate Mum prepared salmon, peas, mash, onions etc and then some fruit cake - walked a little early around 6:15pm - oh SO tired already. - sat around smoking in the garage much of the evening - Bb called - to sleep around 11pm. The clocks changed this night.

29 - Up around 6:30am . . . walked and did the long walk down towards Battery Gardens and then past the holiday park up into the woods and then down to Churston Cove. Sat on the beach throwing pebbles for barking sally, I spotted an old woman swimming! Ok, so it IS extraordinarily mild weather, but not THAT mild!! She swam way out from Fishcombe cove, across to Churston and then all the way back. BIG swim! Made me pine for my camcorder. With the sea all calm and flat, her swimming around would have made for an interesting/amusing fast forward video sequence . . . returned and had a bash at sorting out my number 2 PC. Eventually located the boot drive and put it back in, only to confirm that I HAD messed it up when I mistakenly fitted it in the other machine. Windows insisted on me re-registering. :o( Lot of messing around (even more so when the machine started acting up as though it had a 'proper' fault, although it eventually settled back down, albeit without the modem working! ) but eventually got it all back up and running by registering manually by phoning the Microsoft automated phone system!. . . boxed up more stuff in the garage, moved things around and managed to make enough space on the old kitchen unit worktops, to set the PC up in a useable position, complete with the old tall, post office counter stool to sit on. . missed an ansaphone call from PS. Tried calling back but no answer. I guess I really should have replied to his text message I received on my mobile the other day, but I haven't a clue how to do texts on that phone and have no intention of wasting hours of valuable 'boxing up stuff' time by reading all through the manual and experimenting! . . ate Mum made corned beef and tomato sandwiches with two bags of crisps around 1:30pm . . couldn't help it - SO tired - I just HAD to nap for a while. Brought Sally in with me and napped for less than a couple of hours. .woke up overheating, all shaky and generally feeling really unwell. . eventually felt not 'quite' so bad and had a go at moving more stuff around in the garage. Managed to set up one of my portable TVs perched precariously on top of the PC monitor (four channels watchable-ish with the little loop aerial, but a bit of 'phase' interference on both if I have both on at the same time). . not everything is packed up by any means (all my heavy tools really can't be!) but somehow I eventually managed to stack things high enough to be able to make enough space for putting the plastic-protected single bed mattress back down flat, if the need should arise. Now I've 'taken over' Mums back room there is no need (and Mum is absolutely adamant I WILL NOT sleep out in the garage) but for some reason I needed 'to be able to', just for my own peace of mind somehow. :o/ . . just getting all ready to walk Sally when Mum unexpectedly said she'd come too if I didn't mind. All set off around 7:15pm. An extraordinarily calm and peaceful 'balmy' (14 degrees C!!) evening. Armed Mum with my torch and did the 'usual' circular up and down route, stopping at two seats for a cigarette and chats along the way. (Ooops - left Sally's poop scoop bag on the floor near one of the seats! Too far to walk all the way back by the time I realised.) Pleasant walk. . . fed Sally in the garage and recovered with a coffee and cigarettes. Left a message (using one of my trio of portables in the garage) for PS to call me back on Mums number. . . ate four Mum cooked cheese burgers . . . BB called to touch base - and frankly sounded about as miserable and fed up with life as I feel! :o( . . . PS returned my call and touched base. He suggested he could maybe make a trip down next weekend!! Doesn't seem like a good idea to me. I'm absolutely NOT in a good frame of mind at the moment - to say the least, and of course there is no way at all that I could possibly have anyone back to Mums house (although PS suggested he could stay in a B&B somewhere). That just wouldn't work at all! Hell - and I thought I was a pretty 'avoidant/schizoid/reclusive' person before all this happened! That was NOTHING - absolutely NOTHING to how I feel about being around people NOW!! :o(

smokes/coffee and this in front the portable TV in the garage - to bed before 11pm.
30 - Woken by Sally around 6:10am . . walked in the rain-like sea mist. Very wet stuff! The poop bag I'd accidentally left by a seat last night was still there, so I had the chance to 'do the right thing' and carry it to a bin. Someone sleeping rough in one of the 'pill boxes' again . . Toyed with the camcorder a little up on Battery Gardens, mostly just using it to zoom in on stuff. Much better for that with its 25x zoom than any of my 10x binoculars. Some sort of military looking ship moored up out past the breakwater . .damn, I feel pretty f***ing miserable about things this morning. :o( . . bathed and then touched base with the estate agent to answer her ansaphone question from Saturday about whether or not the fireplaces are open. Another viewing later apparantly . . . sorted out one of my 'caddy' hard drives and copied over my journal on to it, so I could take it out and put it on the PC in the garage and type out there. Gotta be able to chain smoke if I'm gonna be typing lots . . .PCd this with cigarettes, coffee and biscuits in the garage. . received another call from 'Abby' at the estate agent to say there was another viewing later . .PCd this all morning, fighting the desire to just go and sleep. Not sure if it is the 'work' involved in the typing, or the emotional stress of reliving the stuff . . ate Mum made corned beef and tomato sandwiches with two bags of crisps before PCing a little more . . lay down for a nap around 2:30pm . . . woken by the phone around 4pm. It was the estate agent giving me feedback as she'd promised. They'd had in excess of ten viewings of my house so far, with pretty much all of them expressing the same comment - "Too much work!". She then went on to give me some long convoluted tale all about a Mr so and so, who had a couple of properties and a financial representative, who would be willing to make an offer of £125k but couldn't release the funds until mid January, blah, blah, blah! I've never sold my home before, so don't know if having some sort of in depth knowledge of some strangers finances is all part of the game (I guess in order to guage how realistic the offer is?) - but I'd only just woken up and wasn't really with it anyway. I asked her to let me think on it and call me back in half an hour. . let Mum know what was going on when she returned from shopping shortly afterwards. Headed for the garage to wake up real quick with a coffee and cigarettes. Tried to be objective/realistic about the situation and - well - probably rather arbitrarily came up with the response that I'd go back to the estate agent instructing her to say £130k and completion by the new year. That seemed to me to be a reasonable 'bargaining' response. It just didn't seem right to take the first, oh SO low offer. . if the worst comes to the worst (which of course is what I always expect) I reckon I'll see out the six weeks estate agent contract and then take it off the market and somehow have to figure out some way of going back to the house to do some of the work, to finish off some of the more 'eyesore' stuff (most especially the unfinished damp proofing of the kitchen wall) and generally try and do the odds and sods to make it look more cosmetically pretty - like some plastering, filler and wallpaper here and there, skirting boards, lashes of paint, maybe even some carpets, etc, etc. The biggest obstacle to doing all that (despite not really being able to safely stay the night there) is Sally. Had a conversation with Mum and asked if she could handle the idea of looking after Sally for me for a while, maybe. I'm SO loathed to ask, because Mum really is getting pretty old and fragile, and I know how she is about animals. My instructions that Sally would have to rough it for a while like I am, and would have to simply stay in the garage and not have her twice daily walks, would be SO hard for Mum to stick to. I SO know that she'd end up feeling all sorry for poor bored Sally, and probably end up dragging herself all over the place walking her and make herself ill or hurt! Nevertheless, Mum pretty much agreed that she would. I've found a whole new level of understanding and respect for Mum these last few years since Dad died, and especially now through all of this. There really isn't in any way an unpleasant or malicious thought in her head or bone in her body. She really is THE most innocent and gentle, loving person. Wish I was better at accepting some of 'her ways' (which she seems to be of mine). She still drives me nuts! lol. :o/. . called the estate agent back and now more fully awake, asked her to re-iterate what she'd said earlier. She told me it all again, and then went on to say that since we'd just spoken, another person was expressing an interest. A woman, (she told me her name - and that she was legally obliged to tell me that she was an estate agent) who was in the process of selling one property, already had the funds on another property so they were being 'ported', and was interested in mine at £130k and would require a completion in six weeks or earlier because of the sale she was already 'down the road' with! That was almost exactly what I was going to throw back at her with regard to the other offer she'd just mentioned, so without further ado, I said that was much more interesting to me and if it was for real, I'd accept - and frankly, if it could be done by tomorrow morning, that would suit me just fine! A bit of to-ing and fro-ing with phone calls and the estate agent unoffically suggested (even though she shouldn't) that rather than use their own in house solicitors for the sale which I said I would (just to make it all easy for me), I would be better advised to go and get my own. Why? Because the 'in house' solicitors they use cover a countrywide number of branches and getting my own (especially if near where I could pop in to sign papers etc) would speed things up. . took her advice and raced to grab the local phone book and ended up ringing a local 'Eastleys', actually as advertised on the back cover of the phone book (to hell with shopping around for the cheapest - especially when I'm 'losing' so much on the value of the house anyway!)! A quick phone call asking yet more dumb questions ('cause I've never done this before!) and it was confirmed I could 'run with them' straight away at a fee of around £450+vat + a small incidental cost for printing out deeds from the net or some such. He'd get the paperwork up together to start the ball rolling and I could walk down to pick it up tomorrow morning! . .called the estate agent straight back and gave her the solicitors details and that was that. In motion!!! I could be homeless by Christmas!!!! Scary. Nerve wracking. Seems to me like it could all fall through SO easily and leave me with yet another (solicitor) bill to pay for nothing! . Immediately headachey. .PCd this, chain smoking! . . . touched base briefly with PS to ask if he had a roof rack on his car. He doesn't. . touched base with Sis1 and told her that when I eventually get rid of the house, I'll be having to leave the cement mixer and ladders behind, so maybe nephew J will be interested in having them. . walked. Somehow got talking to some old dog walking guy for ages. Turned out he works for the Inland Revenue so I was able to get an answer to a question about tax refunds and such. lol Eventually back to Mums later than usual. . ate a meat pastie, ritz crackers and philadelphia cheese and then some chocolate . . . brought Sally in and lay in bed and watched 'Have I Got News For You' before to sleep straight after around 10:30pm.
31 - Woken by Sally snoring around 5:45am!!! . . out to the garage to wake up with a coffee and cigarettes and PC this. Uh oh - something wrong with the PC!!??? Keyboard? Uh oh - looks as though the damp atmosphere has gotten to it!! Fired up my hairdryer and gave it a good going over for a bit and that seemed to do the trick. Well, I guess that shows how damp the atmosphere in the garage is. Doesn't bode well for the future of that PC - nor in fact all my other stuff I have stored out there!! :o( . . .walked the long walk through the woods to Churston cove, Battery Gardens and eventually back . . a quick cup of coffee and then walked with Sally along the main road to find the solicitors. A couple of nice 'poles' outside saw me easily tie Sally up outside while I quickly popped in to pick up the envelope of papers that was waiting for me. . popped into the nearby building society to bank this months £50 premium bond win and to change my address . . .raced back to Mums to read through the thick wadd of papers and then start to fill it all out. Popped up the local store to photocopy a couple of bills etc. as required . .finally got it all done and raced straight back down with Sally to hand it all back in. Waited while someone was summoned from an office to take photocopies of my proof of id bits (passport/last mortgage statement) so that I could safely take them back away with me . . walked back via the harbor and checked out the little local pet food store. They said they could order large sacks of PAL Complete for me like I'm used to (with a free Friday delivery!!) but it would cost pretty near £20 I think they said! Have to check my journal for how much I usually (used to?!) pay. That sounds like a lot! . bought a £1.25 chewy thing for Sally since I was in there anyway . . treated myself to a vanilla soft scoop ice cream cone and ate it walking back along the harborside towards Battery Gardens. Wow - that is a strong wind - and pretty damned cold too! . . played with the camcorder up on Battery Gardens, filming the military ship that was cruising around in the bay. . . back to Mums to eat the corned beef and garlic sausage with lettuce and mayo sandwiches she'd made me, with two bags of crisps. . . boxed up the Mum washed bedding and towels and a few other bits and pieces in the garage . . soon had to lay down, and napped for a couple of hours until around 5:30pm. Nasty headache. . . woke up with a coffee, annadin and cigarettes in the garage, watching the evening news on the portable. Got really angry watching the reporting of the likely halloween trouble on the streets tonight, and the alleged police preparations for it. The reports seemed to centre on the Somerset and Avon force and had some of their top ranking officers giving reassuring statements about how they take anti-social behavior very seriously and would deal with it appropriately, blah blah blah. In my DIRECT experience - utterly EMPTY words! Angry. Worried. . . walked and lo and behold, passed a police officer patrolling the largely empty graveyard-quiet streets. . just down the road a couple of 'suspicious' youths ambled past up a side street (paying more than usual attention to a parked 4x4. A little further on and an old couple were walking up and down outside their house looking unhappy. I exchanged a word - apparantly the youths had knocked at their door allegedly doing trick or treat, and had then stopped and hung around outside their house in an 'unsettling' manner. I told them I'd just passed a police officer, in the hope it would settle their minds somewhat. .a half dozen strong group of hoodies were knocking on doors on my route back. I'm really VERY worried about my house - VERY up tight. Left an ansaphone message for Sis1 asking her to drive past it some time tomorrow if she can. :o( . . fed Sally and sat with her in the garage PCing this . . .summoned in to eat Mum cooked bacon,egg,sausage and beans and fried bread with a piece of bread and butter followed by a choc ice. Wow- that went down well . . .back out to the garage to smoke and ended up listening to a little music on the PC. . . BB called . . .back to the garage to twiddle briefly with my electric guitar . . eventually back inside with Sally. Missed a hang up/number witheld call on the phone around 10:30pm, which got my mind racing all up tight just in case it was someone trying to get in touch about 'an incident' at the house! . . drank a glass of orange juice and bed around 11pm. s
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