30 - Woke at 5am and couldn't get back to sleep so got up!! I don't wish to seem ungrateful for all the good weather we've been having, but I sure could use it being cooler, just so I can get a decent nights sleep! . . PCd this with coffee and cigarettes for hours . .put the first coat of emulsion on the walls around the front door . . PCd and tried to sort out my car insurance. The renewal is due in a few days and the auto-renewal notice I've had from DirectLine is demanding a 25% increase over what I paid last year!!! Surfed a comparison website and came up with a bunch of cheaper quotes (even the cheapest was around 6% up on last year!?) before ringing directline in order to get them to explain how they could justify such an increase and in and attempt to persuade them to reduce the price. (Funny how their recent TV advert makes a big deal of them NOT appearing on any comparison website. Perhaps the REAL reason is they are NOT competitive!) Their cumbersom answering system announced they were receiving a high number of calls and I'd have to wait! I did - for over twenty minutes!! At length after being passed around and having to wait even longer, the best they would do was drop their price by £10 or so - which was STILL more than many of their competitors - so finally in disgust at being blatantly screwed like that, I cancelled the renewal and said I'd go elsewhere. (I wonder if their high number of calls was because many people were doing the same? The LONG phone call has cost me a bunch!) . . spent a lot of time looking out of the window watching the seagull chicks today! . . Mum called . . eventually went on line and 'signed up' with the AA who came out about the cheapest. All I want is the cheapest - the car's worth almost nothing and I really hardly ever use it any more. I'm 'almost' tempted to actually take it off the road altogether and save on the costs! :o( . during all this messing around I became increasingly convinced (something has been subtly 'amiss' for a few days) that my computer has become infected with something very nasty!!!!!!!!! I'm normally SO VERY careful, but something unexpected happened the other day while surfing (I 'think' to do with 'Sun Microsystems, Java') and ever since I've had a bad feeling things aren't right, DESPITE my fully up-to-date AVG antivirus software scans coming back ok. It wasn't long before it became obvious I WAS infected - with something?????!!! BUGGER!!! This is the last thing I have time for right now - and my old trick of swapping hard disks and re-installing everything as a last resort, really is no longer something I can actually do! (I've too much data I want to keep on too many hard disks to be able to quickly sort it all out - and some of the software I rely on is 'fragile' and only works because of various long ago discarded (no longer available?) updates and patches!) Damn damn damn damn damn! :o( . Wasted HOURS desperately going round and round in circles trying to find out what's going on - but really to no avail. Descended into a foul, foul, frustrated, hate the world mood. Having finally made the transition to on-line banking, and with SO many of my household bills now relying on the PC, this is a pretty dire situation. (How about the car insurance I just bought on-line - are my card details now 'compromised'?) This just highlights to me the fragility of the world we are all now living in. The more we ALL (must?) rely on the PC for everything - the easier it is for our whole world to fall into chaos at the click of a mouse! :o( . . despairingly left the PC running yet another FULL virus scan (takes around an hour!) and put another coat of emulsion on the walls around the door. That will do for THAT bit of wall! . . round and round in circles with the PC getting increasingly down! . . . ate mayo, lettuce, onion, grated cheese sandwiches with crisps . . napped until around 6:30pm . . PCd yet more and replaced my AVG software with the very latest version (9) and then set a scan going - again! Nothing I'm doing is helping!!! I wonder just how many people's machines are infected like this (or worse!), and they actually have absolutely no idea and just carry on regardless? It MUST be many thousands (or even millions worldwide?) - surely? . . eventually just HAD to give up and turned the bloody PC off in absolute disgust! . . TVd briefly before not wishing to have wasted almost the whole day, set about removing the curtains and old curtain track from the living room bay window. Moved a few things out of the immediate firing line (including removing my indoor outdoor thermometer) , put a couple of old sheets down as a token gesture, and then set about stripping off the thick textured wallpaper from JUST the length of wall either side of the windows. Ohhh myyyy god! Hardly unexpected but boy what a mess and lot of work I've now to do! I'd love to meet whoever it was who put up all that wallpaper - ontop of uneven walls, cracks, bare cement filler, flaking paint, etc etc etc!!! They MUST have been simply nuts. . disappointingly the 'reveals' up to the windows weren't actually timber here! They are pieces of plasterboard - broken, loose and rotted out in some small areas! That's a shame. I'm certainly not going to replace them before they come, so the window guys are just gonna have to work round all that. I may be able to 'firm' them up a bit. Apart from that - (so far) it was all pretty much the horror I've faced before, which I know I can 'make good'. Well - that's the next week or so all mapped out for me then. Scraping off old layers of paint and trying to plaster, fill and smooth the wall! :o( . .Scraped paint until around 10pm. . TVd amongst the mess. (A neat new series on a remarkable veterinary surgeon saw me get tearful) It's a whole new concept for me, getting into a 'building site mess', WITHOUT having to clear up at the end of every session with a dog in mind. . ate bowls of cornflakes before briefly PCing some more and then to bed long after 1am.
29 - Poor night sleep (woken at one point by the sound of rain. The seagull chicks first?) then up around 7:30am . . PCd this . . worked on the wall around the door. Sanded everything down and covered everywhere in white dust - again! Used a stanley knife and metal ruler to meticulously, inch by inch, cut-in the little 'detail' recess down the length of the rear face of the round edged reveal, where it meets the new plaster. After removing all the old wallpaper wherever I've done any work, this sort of little original detail has been revealed all around the house on ALL the wall corners and around all the window reveals, etc. They've always been in a bit of a mess and it's taken me ages to tidy them all up where I've found them, but especially given I'm into plain white walls everywhere, having that tiny little original detail makes quite a difference to the finished result in my opinion. Far better than just trying to cover them up.
It wasn't until today that I think I now
actually understand WHY they exist. Having plastered up to the rounded
edge of the wooden reveal, as the plaster (and
timber) dried and shrank, an inevitable rough crack in the
plaster appeared right down the wall next to the timber where the
two meet. By cutting in that little groove (literally the profile
of the tip of a stanley knife blade run down perpendicular to the
face of the timber) and re-exposing the 'roundedness' of the
timber edge, the hairline crack is pushed down into the bottom of
the groove and effectively just completely
disappears. After a gentle sanding and a coat of paint, it just
looks like a neat bit of detailing. How they used to do things
before the advent of metal plaster skim/edge bead I guess? .
anyway, that went ok-ish so it now looks like it originally did
and 'almost' matches all the rest. The joining horizontal detail
ABOVE the door was in a terrible mess and had to be laboriously 'rebuilt'
along its entire length using a strong filler/PVA mix, the edge
of the plastering trowel and a very steady hand. . left things
drying (VERY hot in the house so only a few hours), got cleaned
up and made ready to pop up the store for milk and a few supplies.
Just as I was about to leave I spotted a woodpigeon in the garden,
attempting to find relief from the heat. 
SUCH comical birds. All 'fluffed up', it was
just sat in the water in the middle of the bird bath, half asleep!
lol Hillarious sight. Raced for the camera but my movements at
the window were spotted and saw it move, so I sadly missed the
shot. :o( It really was quite uncomfortably hot and humid today.
The blackbird relaxing on the front lawn for much of the day
appeared to be feeling the heat a bit. lolol Both seagull chicks
appear to be doing ok. . briefly popped up the store for some
milk etc. Stopped by the builders yard on the way back and
invested £6.26 on another litre of PVA . . opened a bottle and
drank a glass of wine while cooking two cheeseburgers and chips
around 2pm. I was just about to sit down and eat when the window
guy called just wanting to confirm that all the windows had
outside cills. ALL - yes. . ate . . napped but only managed an
hour or so. Too hot for comfort. At least 25C. Can't sleep with
the windows open - too much outside (Subaru exhausts and seagull)
noise. . felt rather yucky but eventually recovered enough in
some shade in the garden to return to the wall and sand down some
more. Still a few areas that could be better, but I eventually
figured enough was enough. Cleared up all the mess and vacuumed
as much dust as possible before eventually slapping an undercoat
on all the reveals/detailing - AND on some of the wall in an
attempt to seal it, where indications are it's gonna do that
weird 'staining through the emulsion' thing again. So - there we
go. After a coat or two of emulsion on the walls, that's pretty
much done with for the time being. It isn't as perfect as I'd aim
for if I was just 'decorating', but it's certainly an improvement
on what was there before (it could hardly be worse!) , and it is
my hope that looking as good and sound and original as it does,
it will 'encourage' the window guys to 'take care' when they fit
the door, and give them something decent to 'join up to', AND
minimise the amount of 'capping over to hide it' that will be
required. It remains to be seen how much of all this work will
have been for nothing and will be destroyed when they (somehow!?)
tear the old door and frame out and cram in the new!! :o( I HAVE
been careful not to join any of what I've done to the old door
frame, and it IS possible to insert a hacksaw blade in the gap
and run it ALL the way around between the two. . . TVd the
evening away . . ate a whole pack of Mum donated fruit tarts! . .
to bed around 1am. ds28 - Woke at 5:30am, snoozed on then woken again by some post being delivered at 7:30am. .sunny and hot again. Coffee and cigarettes in the cool of the garden before PCing this briefly . . prepared and then plastered up the remaining bit of wall by the door (not very well as it turned out - but good enough) and then spent an absurd amount of time tending to associated bits and pieces here and there - sanding, gluing, filling, etc, etc - although admittedly spending as much time just looking at the plaster dry as doing it! It's pretty much 'just' a matter of lots of time consuming sanding down and multiple applications of filler to rebuild a bit of original looking recess detailing around the reveals now. With luck, it should eventually be good enough to simply paint over it all and leave it, pending the new door. Just one more small bit of the house 'sorted' and revealed from beneath the thick textured wallpaper that was poorly put up everywhere to cover all the roughness and untended problems beneath. Despite the lack of central heating and unusable fire in the kitchen (and especially the awful untouched bathroom with its multiple tile designs), I think overall the place has a much better 'immediate impression' and feel to it, and is generally now far more sellable than when I bought it. It's certainly more 'functional' in terms of all the power sockets and light switches I've put in (with maybe just a handful more to do - eventually). It's amazing how much of all that conduit I got for nothing, I've actually gotten through! I've only a couple of lengths left! . . ate mum donated salami and mayo rolls, crisps and chocolate . . napped late . . trouble waking up despite the alarm and didn't re-surface until around 8:30pm! Pointless bothering really - still felt SO tired, I just TVd the night away hardly moving. . ate a bit of mum donated cake and a banana before to bed around 1am.
27 - Back up around 9:30am, woken by next doors phone ringing at length . . the sea mist had burned back to full sun already. VERY warm (24 degrees C in the living room - lots more outside) as forecast. Far too hot to do anything much other than just sit around in the shade today I think - maybe watching plaster dry for a bit ? lol . . ok - so much for that plan! Couldn't face wasting the day and somehow ended up having a go at making the alterations to the bit of hall wall above the front door, to ultimately enable me to get a cable back through to the outside light - but this time, done 'properly'! Cut out a recess for a socket box (which will be for a fuse) and knocked out one of the rear holes making it possible to get a cable through to the outside light. The problem with this is, I'm not sure where the new door will end up - so it 'could' end up blocking the route I've made!!! If it wasn't for this uncertainty, I would have installed a piece of conduit from the back of the socket box, out through the wall to within inches of the light and had it all fixed in place and ready to go. Cut in a channel to take conduit up the short bit of wall, through the ceiling and up into the underfloorboards area of the computer room (which is where all the wiring proper will be done, to hook it up to the switch I put in the other day, etc, etc). LOTS of awkward, hot work, mostly with the drill but also a little with the disc cutter (face mask, goggles and ear protectors, etc). To cut a long story short, I somehow managed to get the socket box and conduit all rough plastered in place. VERY pleased (even if there is a big question mark hanging over it all, depending on what happens when the door is fitted!). Pushed on and even got the old timber reveal very firmly fixed back on the wall. There's still much to do, but I can see a light at the end of the tunnel (quite literally if you look through the hole at the back of the new socket box! lol). In fact, I can see that it's actually going to look a lot better than it did before, because of the removal of all the thick ugly cladding that had been put over all the old mess. It's 'almost' a shame I'm having the new door because the clean lines of what I'm going to end up with, after a bit more plastering and work (I fully intend to actually take things to the 'decorating stage' BEFORE the new door is fitted - but not actually 'finish' UP to the old door frame!), probably won't be possible with the new door in place! :o| It's all very worrying! . called it quits, cleared up and showered at around 8pm! A long hard days work! . . ate a Mum donated pizza and a banana . . the seagull chicks are still doing ok . . PCd this briefly, VERY ready for bed already! . .TVd and sat in the cool of the garden briefly before to bed at 11:30pm.
26 - Up at 6am . .PCd for over an hour catching up on the local newspaper-website articles. A recent (annual?) story about protective parent seagulls dive bombing people while protecting their chicks, had resulted in the usual flood of 'kill them/cull the vermin' comments from readers. So weird they don't see themselves as the agressive vermin that need culling! . .sat in the back garden for a bit, with coffee and cigs, in the cool before the heat, listening to the birdsong, etc. A stunning morning. VERY pleasant. Felt 'ok' . . pottered around doing laundry and cleaning up (dust on EVERYTHING!) just a little . . popped to the window to check on the seagull chicks on the garage roof opposite and - damn! I'd been completely wrong yesterday!!????? The mesh was all STILL there exactly as it was. How bizarre is THAT! Must have just been a trick of the evening light yesterday. (Or AM I going senile already?! Proves what they say about the unreliablity of eye witness testimony doesn't it!) And I was SO convinced it was gone - it really WAS completely invisible - even to the camcorder on zoom! The chicks 'chilling in the shade' must have been nestled RIGHT up against it! What a disappointment. So - back to worrying about them again! . .ate a banana . . sanded down a bit of the new plaster on the wall by the door, to improve the vertical and get it about as accurate as possible. Put what I hope will be the final skim of plaster on it, and made it as flat and straight as I reasonably could (more than adequate for covering over with the reveal timber). . did a little more sanding of the timber before putting an undercoat of paint on it out in the blazing sun in the garden . . Mum called in with food donations etc. Showed her the chicks video (and the amazing hummingbird and cat/crow pass alongs BB sent me) and both stood at the window watching them for a bit, before sitting in the shade in the back garden for ages with coffee chatting. Much of the time we were out there, we were accompanied by a big fluffed-up wood pigeon, who seemed content to just sit around for ages. It really does seem to be a 'time of plenty' for several species of bird at the moment. It's a joy to see them being able to take it a bit easy for a while. One particular male blackbird, flat on the floor in the blazing sun, with its wings spread wide and feathers all fluffed up, has almost become something of a 'fixture' on the parched brown lawn out front. It appears at least a handful of birds have come to rely on the birdbath out back for a drink, so I'm filling that up most mornings with a kettlefull of water. (That'll cost me - given our water bills!). . ate Mum donated chicken and stuffing slice rolls, crisps and some chocolate . . napped until around 6:30pm . . guitarred in the garden very briefly . . TVd . .ate a tin of meatballs in gravy with four pieces of bread and butter . . TVd but unless you're into sport or Glastonbury, there really was absolutely nothing else on worth watching AT ALL (even on the news channel)!! I DID attempt to force myself to watch a bit of the Glastonbury coverage, but it wasn't my choice of music and just felt like a chore. I'll never understand how SO many people can 'enjoy' all being herded together tike that! Utterly horrendous - and in this heat!!! What DID strike me from the coverage was the number of chinese lanterns being sent up into the sky. Half the fields of Somerset must be affected by their scattered remains! (I've seen a lot around here the last week or so too) . . TVd/PCd the night away until daylight (and a sea mist blanketing the town) before eventually tired enough for sleep - once again under just a sheet, as I have been of late. s
25 - Woken around 8:45am by the window guy calling the ansaphone. Called him back within minutes and confirmed the details of my door choice. Right - that should be that then. . the gull chicks were safely freely roaming the garage roof - destined to be sat there in FULL sun for most of the day - with something of a heatwave forecast for days! Incredible how they can survive. (There is another nest with at least one chick on a neighbours chimney stack, in FULL sun from dawn to dusk!) That's probably why they ended up trapped - they were seeking the shade of the gutter? Very anxiety inducing to watch them constantly patroling along the mesh, occasionally pecking at it! They really are liable to end up getting stuck again. . . put a lumpy, very rough 'blobb' of plaster down the wall next to the front door, in an attempt to make up a 'vertical' to aim for. Once that's gone off and hardened, I should be able to skim that bit of the wall one more time, and end up with it good straight and flat enough for mounting a reveal back on. . messed around in the garden with the rough old, door reveal timber, extracting all the old nails and sanding it down, etc. Applied a little glue and clamped a small split bit, and then laboriously filled all the holes, knocks and missing chunks with some filler/PVA mix. .
around 2:30pm
the postman called at the door - with my brass urn. Yayy. Phew -
that's a relief. (According to the postmark - I have a strong
suspicion it was only posted yesterday! lol) Turns out it IS
actually pretty cheap (kinda as expected). Certainly nowhere near
the quality of the little one I found. The screw top on the new
one is very nearly useless, the threads
are so poor! Got straight to work grinding away at it with my wet
and dry paper. Took ages, and I can
still 'just about' see where the engraving of the cats face was
from a few stubborn little marks, but it polished up 'reasonably'
well in the end. (The before and after photos I've included here,
don't really do it justice because of the weird reflections, but
I guess that's a good sign?) I may yet put more work into it to
improve the finish still further. I am as yet undecided about
whether or not I actually WILL put Sally's ashes in it, but if I
do, suprisingly I think it WILL actually accomodate all of her
ashes, despite it being LESS than 6" tall - when it was
falsely advertised as 6.75"!!!! (I'm sure I don't actually
have ALL of her.) . . sanded down the front-door reveal timber
and applied just a dab more pva/filler here and there. A bit more
sanding and some paint, and I think it's quite good enough to fix
back in place (once I've squared off and smoothed down the wall
with some more plaster) - and despite the window guy saying just
leave it off, I think I AM going to put it back in place as soon
as I can (if for no other reason, so I can plaster up to it and
finish off the other adjacent face of the wall, where I've put in
the new light switch box and conduits). . Called it quits for the
day around 6:30pm and vacuumed just a little. . Hadn't checked on
the seagull chicks for hours and when I did - hey presto, all the
mesh had been removed some time during the day! Nice one. Good on
the lady. She must have rushed out and got someone to do it! (Actually
- I was mistaken - the mesh WAS still there! See tomorrows entry)
The chicks were chillin-out in the shade beneath the guttering. :o)
. . PCd a bit of this . . cooked and ate frozen pizza with extra
grated cheese followed by a couple of bananas and chocolate . .
TVd. Spectacular full moon rose into the sky from just behind the
TV screen. . struggled to stay awake until early to bed at 11pm. 24 - Back up around 8:30am . .PCd over cigarettes and coffee (and yes - I'm afraid I DID end up watching the video - again!!!? Inspite of all its flaws - I am SO very pleased to have been able to produce that. It's SUCH a shame I'll never be an overweight rich person with an expensive motor boat to play with. If I was - I'd get great satisfaction from doing that 'committal at sea' service for nothing (accepting ANY amount of donation anyone cared to offer) - and I'd have the whole boat festooned with strategically placed cameras to record EVERYTHING for a keepsake DVD!) . . grabbed door brochures and stood out in the street trying desperately to make up my mind before walking a hot circuitous route to Mums, looking at everyones front doors as I went (stopping occasionaly to compare the brochure pictures to 'in-the-flesh' doors!) . . sat in Mums garden with her and sought HER opinion about what door would suit the house etc. Not really much help! Ended up both inside with coffee and biscuits - while watching the video - again!!! (Apparantly Mums watched it many times too! lol) Wow - it sure looked better on a 'proper' (Sony widescreen) TV! . . eventually returned home to kneel in the front garden with the brochure. Actually holding the pictures up at arms length and closing one eye enabled me to imagine things a little better. (If I had more time, I'd play cut and paste 'mock ups' with photos on the PC!) Eventually just got tired of the indecision and settled on one which I imagined would work, and then tried phoning the window guy. His wife answered. I attempted to explain my choice, but I was awful worried about 'chinese whispers' and wanted to confirm a couple of small details, so it was agreed she'd get him to call me back 'when he comes in' . . PCd a bit of this. God it's hot again! I SO need more sleep! . . ate ham, mayo, chopped spring onion and lettuce sandwiches with crisps, a banana and a little chocolate . . napped until around 5:30pm . . just pottering around and glancing out of the window at some point, I noticed a couple of new seagull chicks on the attached garage roof of one of the bungalows opposite. Very scruffy and cute and making that plaintive sound they do. I know they are there every year, but somehow they always seem to sit 'just' out of sight behind a huge hedge/tree (that's sadly why I never managed to make a video out of them).
Hang on a minute - uhoh - something didn't
look right! Grabbed the camcorder and trying to prop it still
against the top bit of my living room window frame, zoomed in for
a better look. Oh no! That isn't right!!!! The owner of the
bungalow had long ago had some sort of plastic mesh strung on
wires all along the top of the garage roof, immediately beneath
the overhanging guttering of the main roof, in an attempt to keep
the seagulls away and stop them nesting there. It never worked.
Somehow those chicks appeared to have become trapped BEHIND the
mesh! Ended up watching for ages and it eventually became
apparant that WAS what had happened and they WERE stuck there
unable to get back out. I kept watch for a LONG time (in the hope
they COULD find their own way back out) and saw the parents on at
least two occasions, descend onto the
garage roof and regurgitate food for them (actually saw a whole
small fish appear at one point!). The poor (starving/thirsty?)
chicks couldn't get out to reach the food - so the parent ended
up eating it again before flying off!!!!! :o( . . tried to call
the window guy (who didn't phone) to get the 'door thing' squared
away, but only got an ansaphone, so didn't. That's a day wasted
then! . . did dish washing chores while frequently stopping in
the middle of things to walk back into the living room to
anxiously check on the (were they - still - really?) trapped
chicks. Eventually finished dishwashing chores only to end up
stood at the bedroom window trying to film a bit of the chicks. I
couldn't help myself - I WAS going to have to go knock on the old
lady's door and ask if I could sort them out - and in so doing I
figured if I could show her some video on the camcorder screen,
she'd see how cute they were and the predicament they were in,
and be more inclined to let me try to free them. (Too many people
REALLY dislike seagulls. I think the only thing wrong with
seagulls is people!) . . called at her door and (once she'd
figure out who the hell I was (i.e. 'the man with the German
Shepherd'! - errr actually no, not any more I'm afraid. :o( I'm
just the guy who lives opposite. The one you never see.)) showed
her the clip and explained why I was being a nuisance. She wasn't
exactly 'a fan' of seagulls, but thankfully she couldn't just
stand by and ignore their suffering. She asked what we should do.
"Should we call the RSPCA?" she said. lol. I
asked if she had a ladder (if not - I'd have walked mine round!),
at which she opened her garage to reveal a full length heavy old
wooden one AND a very tall lightweight aluminium set of steps,
all neatly hanging in a couple of home made wooden racks.
EXCELLENT! In no time at all I was on the steps and then taking
the single easy step up onto her garage roof (which I already
laboriously checked from down below, WAS pretty solid). Bungalow
roofs are SUCH a walk in the park. Keeping a VERY wary eye out
for the chicks parents (I think one very large, sharp complaining
adult on the main roof nearby WAS one!!!!) I quickly did a
reconnaissance of the mesh and discovered several of the old
metal supports for it had rusted away, enabling the wire and mesh
strung on it, to swing inwards, which would have probably been
how they pushed their way in. Trouble was - once in, the mesh
would spring back like a trap door , trapping them in behind it -
exactly what had obviously happened! Managed to usher the chicks
along to one end so they had no escape and then managed to lift
the wire and mesh and reach in and quickly grab one, and drag it
out to be just plonked onto the expanse of garage roof next to me.
That went well. The second chick was a little more feisty and was
having none of it. It headed straight off up the other end of it's
garage-length prison cell. There was a bit of to-ing and fro-ing
along the length of the mesh, tapping with my fingers, before I
finally managed to corrall it back at the other end where I could
reach in once again. As I grabbed it, it 'screamed' a bit which
was rather upsetting - but I soon happily freed it. Crept back
along the garage roof towards the stepladder, desperately trying
not to scare them into jumping off, which WAS a real danger! As a
token gesture of thanks to the old lady, I couldn't resist
quickly clearing a few handfulls of moss, plants and other debris
from her rather full rainwater gutter. Tried to use the debris to
prop the mesh up more securely, but that didn't really work, and
the whole situation is unfortunately very likely to simply re-occur
when those chicks go exploring again!!! :o( Returned everything
to where it should be, thanked the lady and headed home to look
out of the window some more. .within less than five minutes, one
of the parents returned and regurgitated a much appreciated meal
for them. Phew. Thank goodness for that. :o) Guess I'll be
involuntarily looking out there first thing every morning - and
at various other times - checking on them now!!! :o( . . tried to
TV but - oh dear! This is starting to appear very 'unhealthy'! -
ended up watching the committal video over and over - again!!!!!!!???????
. . LB called. Oh dear - she has YET more 'health concerns'!! :o(
. . PCd a bit of this. Hmmm - no reply, as HAD been promised by
the e-bay urn seller! :o( ffs . . actually - after having spent
ages typing this, while going for a capture image of the chicks
to use here, I figured what the hell and instead put in the time
to knock up a bit
of a video out of the tiny
snip of footage I took. Uploaded it to Youtube around 1:45am. It's
So simple - bet it gets a bunch of hits! lololol . . touched base
with BB. . ate ham etc sandwiches again after 3am and then to bed
around 4am. s23 - Up at 6:45am. .PCd a bit of this before ending up watching yesterdays video SEVERAL times 'in the cold light of day'. I think it works - pretty damn well. . (Needless to say?) I WON'T be putting it on Youtube of course! . . PCd this until somewhere around 9:45am when the window guy turned up to measure etc. All very matter of fact, not at all phased by MY wall nightmare, etc, etc. He measured everything up and that was that, with the exception of me wanting a day to decided what type of front door I want (using his brochure as a guide). I may have to walk the streets looking at peoples doors! lol . He asked for aroundabout a 10% cheque deposit - which made me awful uneasy - but I guess it's a two way street with such things? Couldn't really expect him to order and have made, a bunch of windows etc without 'committing' to him in some way, financially. Wrote out a £450 cheque (leaving the £3K to pay)! First actual 'cheque' I've written in several years! . . just sat around doing nothing, needing to take it easy and just 'recharge' a bit . .PCd a bit and got round to mailing the e-bay urn supplier enquiring if he'd received my previous mail and asking when I'd receive the urn! I'm beginning to have a bad feeling about this! . . drank the last glass and maybe a little bit, from the bottle of wine, while cooking two burgers with mayo in buttered bread rolls and chips. . ate and then napped around 3pm . . woken after 7pm by Mum phoning and getting my ansaphone . came-to and then touched base with Mum. She'd spoken with Auntie B. They'd allegedly all watched the video I'd done and it had been - 'well received'. EXCELLENT. Makes a nice change to get some proper positive feedback about one! Prompted by the call. I ended up burning a DVD for myself and then watching it again on the TV in the comfort of the living room. . TVd a bit for only an hour before ending up watching the video yet again - and then again - and again, and again, and again!!!! Don't ask me what was going on in my head as I did so, but somehow I ended up watching it over and over until gone midnight!!!!!? Somehow every time I watched it, I had a completely different far ranging emotional 'trip' going on in my thoughts. The video/music just seemed to be a catalyst and very acceptable 'companion' whilst having all those thoughts. Hard to explain. Amongst MANY other things, I have the sense that in some strange hard-to-verbalise way, I witnessed and filmed quite a bit of 'love' on that day. Very strange evening. Poor neighbours - must have thought the 'needle had got stuck'! lol . . ate the remaining Mum donated cream with bowls of co-co pops . . pawed over the double glazing door brochure, completely UNABLE to decide what sort of door to have!? . . PCd a bit of this after 1:30am. Received a reply from the e-bay urn supplier. 'This item has been posted to you, I will get tracking deails out tomorrow and email you back'. I trust all is in order then - or does that suggest it's missing in transit? :o( . . grabbed some screen captures from the committal video and e-mailed them to Sis2 to 'keep her in the loop'. . touched base with BB before eventually to bed getting on for 4am as daylight grew in the sky. sd
22 - Up at 7:30am. .PCd this . the window guy called at 8:25am aplologising for not having called yesterday and said he'd probably call in tomorrow afternoon with brochures to discuss door styles, measure up etc. I mentioned the 'problems' I have with the wall and that I was doing 'repairs'. Nothing I said seemed to worry him in any way! Given that, and yesterdays 'works' had turned out 'ok', and everything was still drying out and hardening up, I decided that the pressure was off a little for the time being - and as th etime began to approach, reconsidered going out to have a look at Uncle Ts ashes committal set for 10am+. Coz1 was apparantly NOT going on the boat, and was allegedly going to sit on a particular seat by the Berry Head hotel and take photos of the exact location of the ashes/committal. I figured if a photo record like that was desireable (and I know from Mums reaction to some of the videos I made up of Dad after he was gone, that there IS a place for such records as part of the grieving process, even if they are seldom if ever looked at again in the future), then I really ought to give it a go with my camcorder. I also knew from Mums behavior in our recent conversations, that she really DID probably want to go watch, despite what she may have said (when I showed reticence). Eventually belatedly decided to go for it. . . called Mum and agreed to pick her up 'in minutes'. Charged camera batteries and such for as long as I dared and then raced around grabbing cameras, tripod and what I needed before jumping in the car and going to pick up Mum. .raced through town and luckily managed to get the car into the one remaining parking spot on the road just overlooking the end of the breakwater. Took up position by the seat overlooking the breakwater and everything, and got the camcorder all set up while scanning the entire marina looking for distant signs of possible related activity. Beautiful day. All sunny calm and blue with a gentle cooling breeze. It couldn't have been any better for it. . eventually spotted Coz1 (oh my god - it could almost have been Uncle TJ! He really IS the spitting image of him at times!) walking along past the breakwater hard, and shouted down to attract his attention. He briefly made his way up to join us for a while and let us know they were all gathering and would be making their way along the marina pontoons shortly. He gave us details about where he'd be during the actual committal, before he carried on his walk along to the location. . not long after, I managed to catch sight of Auntie B and the assembled group in the distance as they crossed the footbridge and began to descend down onto the marina pontoons, and started trying to film in ernest. . the boat they were aiming for was about as far away from land as was possible, and the long walk out there took them ages. Lost sight of them all on more than one occasion because they were SO far away and lost amongst all the clutter of masts and boats. Once on board they then apparantly had to have a little safety talk and don lifejackets etc. . at long last the boat headed out of the marina and set off out of the harbour and round the end of the breakwater, etc. Filmed for as long as I dared before then picking up the tripod and quite literally running as fast as I could, back to the car to quickly drive at dangerous speeds along to dump and leap out of the car, in the hotel car park.
Left Mum to
find her own way and raced off with the camera and tripod.
Immediately spotted Coz1 near 'the seat' , and the boat just
offshore right in front of him. Filmed as best I could (while Mum
watched from 'the' seat) and miraculously 'just'
about managed to get the 'money shot' - the 'actual' dropping of
the 'sea urn' into the water. (A third of all local
cremations involve taking ashes to sea. Sea urns are manufactured
with the environment in mind. The tree bark used to make the
paper is from the mulberry tree and is harvested in such a way
that the tree continues to grow, undamaged. They float on the
water for about five minutes, then sink and disintegrate on the
sea floor within about 20 minutes.) Allegedly the boat thing
(MV 'Encourager') IS a 'charity' , although negotiations are
apparantly conducted over a 'suitable donation', which has been
suggested to me 'can' amount to actually rather a lot (£££s)!
Well - it IS a BIG EXPENSIVE motor boat, with two 'crew', and no
doubt doesn't do much to the gallon - and the trip DOES include
an after committal cruise around the bay. . leaving the camera on
the tripod recording the boat going in circles at one point, I
dashed off across the grass and exchanged words with a couple of
dog walkers I'd not seen for ages, and let them know about Sally
. .eventually the boat headed off across the bay, and that was
that. Goodbye Uncle TJ. :o( It's not my choice, but I have to
admit - for a 'seagoing' person, it WAS a rather cool way to be
scattered - with nice seats and the hotel patio for drinks and
coffee right nearby for the bereaved to come and spend time in
reflection, etc. Yeah - not bad at all. . . dropped off Coz1 on
the way, then both returned home for a coffee in the back garden
before heading into the computer to transfer video files, and see
what I'd actually managed to capture of the mornings proceedings.
Turned out I'd captured just enough to actually be able to 'do'
something with it. I certainly hadn't intended to, but the more
of the footage I reviewed, the more it seemed 'appropriate' to
actually put in the effort to make a 'suitably edited MUSIC video'
of it!! Oh dear - I can feel hours and hours of 'hard labour'
coming on!! . 'encouraged' Mum quickly out of the door to walk
home and then set about trying to make a suitable video out of
the footage - set to three different music tracks. Acker Bilk's 'Stranger
On the Shore' for the group 'preamble' out through the marina to
the boat (actually downloaded from YouTube because I didn't have
it in my collection!); Louis Armstrong's 'Its A Wonderful World'
as the boat exited the harbour and headed out across the sunny
blue bay. (Both those tracks were used during the recent funeral
service - so that seemed right);finally the Brixham Male Voice
Choir singing 'My Heart Will Go On' (extended slightly with
difficulty) for during the actual ashes committal. As always
during my video editing thing, I got 'emotionaly involved' with
the subject during the process, and I have to confess to being
brought to tears on MORE than one occasion as the results
unfolded and I had to keep on playing it over and over and
observe all the little details!! Hard to keep working through
bleary eyes! . at some point the window guy phoned and brought
forward his proposed visit to tomorrow morning . . The video
editing/build took ALL the rest of the day, non
stop (constant chain smoking and coffee
drinking) until around 7pm before I eventually ended up with a rough
but watchable video concept. Touching base with Mum on a couple
of occassions to get/check details of this and that during the
process, I let her know I had a working concept and she popped
back down to view it. (I needed a second opinion - to make sure
it was 'ok' and in appropriate taste, and not liable to be in any
way taken as a bad thing, etc, etc!) She seemed to think it was
lovely and said she'd have loved to have had it if it was her/dad
etc. . put in more time (after having had to delete a bunch of
old precious videos to free up hard drive space!) and at length
by around 9:45pm had a copy committed to a DVD. Raced down to
proof watch it on the TV/DVD player. Good enough methinks. :o)
Burned and labelled a whole bunch of copies (for everyone who
would maybe be interested) and then raced out of the house around
10:15pm, dropped one off at Mums and then raced down to pop the
rest through Coz1s letterbox. He's gonna be leaving town and
resuming his life on Thursday, so I figured if I could get them
to him today, it'd give him time to distribute them if/as
appropriate before he leaves - also, given the mess I'm in in the
house, and the window guy coming tomorrow etc etc - I just needed
to get the whole thing wrapped up and done-with TODAY! . felt
really weird being down town at night - and especially 'alone'. I
didn't like it! . . the lights were still on at Coz1s so I
knocked at the door and with little more than a couple of words,
handed over the envelope of DVDs and carried on my way. Phew.
Thank god that's over and done with! . hot sweaty, staggering
around a bit because of lack of food, being a bit 'ill' along the
way (too much chain smoking!), I eventually made my way up to
BGdns to collapse and recover a bit on one of the seats in the
cool dark. Well - so much for my 'heart/lung/chest-pain' health
concerns! After a day of only coffee and cigarettes, and after
all that racing around and the final 'run' down town and then the
climb back up to the seat - I really should have had a heart
attack along the way if I was going to! Sat there for ages (and
another cigarette of course) before feeling sufficiently
recovered to eventually head back home (actually unable to walk a
straight line on the way like I was drunk!! Lack of food I think!)
. . found an 'England' car flag in the road on the way back which
I figured I'd hang on to - until such time as an occasion arises
to make use of it, which doesn't in any way involve overpaid
losers playing silly games!. . eventually home around 11:30pm . .
finally ate corned beef, grated cheese, mayo and lettuce
sandwiches, crisps, a banana and some chocolate while TVing
around midnight. . exhausted to bed around 1am.21 - Up around 7:45am. . .phoned the window company and said I wanted them to do the work. A woman answered the phone and said the guy would call me back this afternoon. He didn't! . . reluctantly back to work on the wall by the door. .Mum called after having spoken with auntie B asking if I wanted to attend UncleTJs 'ashes scattering' tomorrow. I say 'scattering' but what is actually happening is his ashes are being comitted to the sea! I had no idea such a thing existed (until I was told/shown at the funeral the other day) but apparantly the ashes are supplied back in some sort of bio degradeable/disolvable 'packet'. A local motor cruiser (charity?) takes a small party out into the bay and the packet/ashes are put overboard and committed to the sea. 'I' didn't think it really my place to be there for that, and up to my eyeballs in collapsing wall horror, I told Mum I wouldn't be going. . plastered the lower conduit in place from the switch box to under the floor. Had difficulty motivating myself to carry on, and sat around watching plaster dry for an unhealthy amount of time! Eventually somehow got going again and moved furniture around in the computer bedroom, lifted a floorboard and then set about trying to run in the conduit from the switchbox UP to under the floor. Thankfully managed to cut the channel up the wall with the disc cutter, without any more of the wall collapsing, thanks only no doubt, to the bit of 'emergency' cementing I'd done yesterday. Much dust in the house again. So much in the hallway at one point, I quite literally could only see a foot or so in front of my face! Had to stop work and go and disconnect the smoke alarm which went off. Eventually had the conduit plastered in place. What a relief. So - it's now 'just' (!!!) a case of bit by bit trying to load up the wall with layers of cement, to build it all back out to where it's supposed to be and try and make it all level and straight etc, etc. Difficult job . . cleared some of the mess and tools and vacuumed as much of the dust as I could . putting the floorboard back down in the computer room, one of the screws snapped off half way in! That's a bugger - and is gonna be quite a little job to attempt to rectify. :o( That'll have to wait for some other time . .showered. Felt really very unwell (actually for much of the day - again!) and really had no choice but to just go lay down for a bit around 5pm. (I don't wish to seem melodramatic - but - I've had a growing suspicion/conviction of late that my unhealthy lifestyle is catching up with me. There seems to be someything 'going on' in the left side of my chest. Intermittant needle like pains and discomfort. If I was anyone else, I'd probably be giving up smoking and going to the doctor for X-rays and cardiograms and such! I am NOT anyone else. . They ended the funeral the other day by playing Louis Armstrong 'Its A Wonderful World' music. That didn't 'work' for me. I've never found it to be so - thanks to humanity!) Couldn't sleep and ended up getting back up within the hour. . cooked three bacon, eggs and chips and ate . . eventually dared to mix up a bunch more cement/PVA mix and applied it to the wall by the door up until almost 9pm. . Mum called again asling how things were going and confirming I wasn't going tomorrow . . PCd briefly. I'm really starting to wonder if - um - I actually exist! The window guy didn't call - the urn I ordered (and paid for) has STILL not arrived - all the recent e-mails I fired off haven't resulted in a single word of acknowledgement! Humph. .. TVd . .ate Mum donated strawberries and cream . TVd until bed at 11:30pm.
-/unfinished/-
20 - Up around 7am. Clear blue and sunny again. .sat around before eventually mustering the courage to have a look at the loose old cladding and right hand reveal and wall around the front door. It was clear there was something 'not good' going on under there, and with a new door looming some time in the future, I figured it was high time I got to the bottom of it. No way was I prepared to just leave it in the hope the fitters of the new door would somehow miraculously rectify whatever was going on beneath. Aside from that, there was also the issue of the outside porch-light cable. The wire had simply been brought up through a hole in the floor of the hallway OVER the skirting board, and then disappeared behind the loose bit of cladding that ran up the side of the door - to the poorly positioned switch up the wall and then somehow emerged by the outside light. That's all needed re-routing and doing properly since before I moved in! Even if I'd decided to just leave everything for the window/door guys to discover and work around, at the very least, it would be absolutely necessary to disconect the power from that cable while they worked.
It took MANY hours to remove all the enamel
and polish out the four circular lathe marks and the few odd
dings I found beneath the enamel, but by around 3:30pm I'd
accomplished my goal. (Would have only taken five minutes on a
lathe!) A plain polished brass urn, much more in keeping with the
rest of the objects in the room. (I've included before and after
photos here. If you look closely - you can see me reflected in
the polished brass, taking the photo of it on the mantelpiece in
the living room. Not a bad finish eh? It could be better - but I
think around five hours spent on it already is more than enough -
and admittedly beyond borderline weird!!! lololol ) I guess it's
a matter of taste - but I know which I prefer. Never mind what I've
put in it - it is now for me a MUCH more desireable and
attractive object, in and of itself. Very pleased. :o) If only I
could find one similar, larger, to put her ashes in. Maybe I
should look on the net again, and consider buying a yucky
enamelled one for similar treatment? . . BB called to touch base
. . drank the last of a bottle of wine (just over a glass) and
got tipsy on it and an empty stomach, while PCing this . . ate a
large lump of defrosted K donated 'dog food' beef, peas, chips
and gravy. I still have HUGE amounts of K donated food crammed
into the freezer! . LB called to touch base. Let her know about
Sally. She cried . . .cut my hair/beard etc . . PCd before having
a shower, and found myself looking at dog ads for rehoming, for
ages yet again!!! I don't think I'm actually serious about
rushing straight out and getting another - it's just something I
find myself doing rather a lot - keeping an eye on 'who' is about
looking for a home as it were - just in case! It's actually not
an easy thing to do. Awful sad to see the pictures and read some
of the stories behind them. Staffie/terrier type dogs appear to
be really VERY common - which I suspect is a reflection of todays
'trophy dog' yob culture. Unfortunately they just aren't 'my'
sort of dog. Lots of others are already really very old (older
than Sally already!!)! It'd take an awful special sort of person
to take on one of those - in the full knowledge they'll get all
the expense of health problems and have to face losing them in
only a year or two!! Other younger dogs have pre-existing health
problems requiring ongoing expensive vet treatment for the
entirety of their lives! Once again - that'd take a special sort
of person - with money to burn! Not me! . It's all so
heartbreaking!!! . . TVd and ate a pack of jaffa cakes . . to bed
at 1am. d
lastly, I absurdly threw away £2.50 on a
brass ornament in a charity shop, for adding to my living room
collection! Like I need more brass stuff?!!! lol I just couldn't
resist it - for that price. It was a heavy screw top money box in
the shape of a pillarbox. I've tried to stop buying any more
brass and just keep it down to stuff that 'means' something to me
- sentimental like. Like the brass handbell Dad made from an old
Small Street (Bristol) Post Office alarm bell with a handle made
from a wooden windowlight chord handle, and the clanger made from
a 9mm bullet which I used to collect (from the Pilning rifle
range); or the small, two and a quarter inch calibre shell casing
grandma used to own, etc, etc. I figured the new pillarbox could
- um - well - kinda represent my early days in the post office
when I did a short stint as a postman. lolol Dunno what it is
about the stuff, but I DO really like brass. I've recently
started using my old 'Brass No. 5' petrol lighter(s) again -
because it just feels SO nice to hold it in your hand. Kinda like
a warm pebble. Almost always in my left hand when watching TV! .
. drank a glass of red wine (opened a new bottle) and polished
the new pillarbox while the oven cooked a Mum donated pizza. Ate
. . napped for only an hour or so. (Woke from YET another of my
repeating 'running around frantically looking for a dog which had
run off' type nightmares! ).
. sat around aimlessly and frustrated for a bit before mustering
the energy to walk to BGdns for a sit in the sunny spells . .sat
on top of my favourite gun emplacement for a bit. Just a distance
below was a seagull, sat in an 'unusual' position, not far from a
bunch of noisy guys fishing from the rocks. It eventually became
apparant, the beautiful, poor suffering bird had a broken wing!!
Ohhhh jeeze! :o( I seem to have become EVEN more emotionally 'fragile'
than I've EVER been before, and appear to have developed a very
near ZERO tolerance for being able to bear witnessing 'suffering'
- in nature most especially!! (Recent news reporting of the
ongoing BP oil leak disaster in the gulf of mexico, seems to
always 'casually' include horrific
scenes of oil covered dying birds! I can't bear it. The slightest
mention of BP or the oil leak - I have to change channel real
quick!) . there was no practical way of doing anything about the
seagull - and even if I HAD had a go at catching it and succeeded,
I'd have just ended up being trapped into racing around all over
the place only to end up being instrumental in YET another
euthansia case!! 
My sit there overlooking the scene was NOT
pleasant - and even less so when the damn bird dragged itself
along one of the paths and then got 'kinda' attacked by a passing
dog!!! Agony to watch. Just agony. :o( With a frantic flapping of
broken wing, somehow the gull defended itself (more than once!!)
and eventually the dog just carried on its way!! (Strange dog?
Sally absolutely WOULD have made VERY short work of that gull! A
quick crunch, crunch. Under the circumstances - I think I may
have let her too! :o( ) Soon after the dog incident the gull
disappeared over the rocks down below and out of my sight. (Out
of sight out of mind? NO! Not! I wish! :o( ) . one of the several
guys fishing on the rocks seemed to have a golden touch and
during the time I was sat there, he caught perhaps up to a dozen
(mackerel I think). That 'hurt me' to watch too! The suffering of
the fish!! I just don't know where to put all this hurt! It's
overwhelming. It's enough to make me not want to go out at all,
anywhere, ever!!!!!!!!! :o( . Eventually couldn't take any more
and headed off. Glancing back, I could just see the head of the
poor seagull poking up from the rocks below, sat 'patiently'
suffering and waiting for the oh so slow arrival of callous,
indifferent death! :o( . . drank more wine . TVd polishing more
of the living room brass which hasn't seen a decent polish for
ages . . sat in the garden for a bit. A huge buzzing moth
attracted to the floodlight ended up crash landing into a nearby
spiders web! The BIG spider darted out and started reeling in the
struggling moth - and even another smaller one which incidentally
got caught up in the melee!!!!! That was MY fault for putting the
light on! I couldn't bear to watch/listen and had to retreat back
in to TV some more. :o( . . . ate the last of the Mum donated
strawberries and cream with much sugar . . TVd/PCd until finally
to bed after daylight! dda
ate the last of the rice concoction with four
pieces of bread and butter . . napped until the alarm at 6:30pm .
. felt incredibly warm and humid (although probably the internal
effect of lots of bread and rice!). Sat in the garden. Some joker
in a light aircraft was buzzing around, much of the time 'just'
above the rooftops, in the 'death zone' (so called I believe,
because ANY sort of technical trouble would have meant an
immediate plunge into the ground (and houses!) and death, with
absolutely NO time for any sort of forced landing/ avoiding
action at such a low altitude!)! No WAY could that have been 'legal'!
No way! It was SO low, I was even moved to race in and grab the
camcorder to get a shot or two, before it disappeared below the
horizon as it similarly 'buzzed' Dartmouth! (Having 
On the way past the fish quay, demolition of
the last bits of the old fish market were in full swing - behind
the new building which seems to have sprung up since I last took
any notice! (One more day and I guess the old should all be gone?)
Hung around and filmed for a bit, kinda for old times sake, but
got no satisfaction at all from doing so. Just ended up getting
really achey and cold - and my eyes a bit clouded from all the
dust! (My watch stopped working again - as it always seems to
when I get really cold! I AM going to have to buy me a new one!)
. .eventually wandered back the way I'd come and sat on the edge
of the harbour in the sun, trying to warm up a bit and just
watching the tide coming in beneath my feet - waiting for the
next band to set up and start playing. Felt awkward, out of place
and noticeably alone, and got NO pleasure from sitting there AT
ALL! :o( . forced myself to awkwardly, self consciously sit and
watch a bit of the John Shillito Select Six jazz set before
eventually escaping away to BGdns . .sat for a bit in BGdns (let
a couple of dog walkers know Sally was gone) before eventually
heading back, getting in at what turned out to be around 8:30pm.
All in all, a thoroughly pointless and unsatisfying outing, which
left me feeling worse than if I'd not bothered! . . drank wine
and ate a Mum donated pizza. . guitarred just a little and TVd
until bed around midnight. d