January (Year zero!)
1 - Woke earlier then up around 7:40am. . .
walked and found a penny. . .sat around . . PCd a bit of this . .
ate spam sandwiches and crisps . . . napped . . walked in the
COLD wind . . BB called . .TVd and drank a little wine. . ate
microwaved stewed steak and four pieces of bread and butter
followed by some Christmas cake. . . TVd until bed before
midnight. d
2 - Up
'late' around 8am . . .walked . .sat around . .briefly popped up
the store for some bread and milk . .sat around waiting for the
fridge service guy to turn up. Actually 'nothing to do with me',
but Mum is the same as me when it comes to waiting for someone to
turn up as they'd said they would - unable to get on with doing
anything, horribly up tight, and knowing full well they WON'T
turn up when they said they would, (if at all!). Mum seems to
vent her frustration with the vacuum cleaner!! . He said he'd
turn up at midday. Currently (as I type this) 1am and no show.
.the fridge guy finally turned up around 2pm. He thinks it is
just the thermostat, and it'll take him a 'couple' of days to get
one. Oh yeah - I just bet! . . ate corned beef sandwiches with
crisps . . . napped . . . walked. Weird spontaneous downshift in
mood as the evening wore on. Darkly desperate down. :o( . . ate a
handful of Mum cooked chips and a bit of a mushroom pie before
feeling sick and eventually giving the rest to Sally. . . BB
called - but frankly I really don't know why any more . . .TVd
until bed after 11pm.
3 - Woken
by Sally earlier, snoozed on then up around 7am. . walked . sat
around . balanced my accounts, which have actually become oh so
much simpler without all the direct debits and bills . . drove in
the rain to the local store to buy some sausage rolls, a pastry
slice and some crisps for lunch. . .ate . . TVd . . napped for
less than an hour until woken by BB calling to say she wouldn't
be calling. Yeah - I don't blame her. . drove Sally to walk in
the gale. It'd been absolutely torrential rain just before I
left, but somehow I managed to do the majority of the walk
without getting wet? Sat under the roof of the covered seats, one
sudden gust of wind was SO strong as it whipped around us, both
Sally and I got a bit fearfull!! Weird. That one rotating gust,
thankfully relatively short in duration, must have been a good
60mph or more . . ate sausage rolls and crisps . . .joined Mum
and Sis2 in the living room and watched a DVD Sis2 had rented
from the library. . PCd briefly before bed around 12:45am.
4 - Woken
by Sally earlier, snoozed on then up around 8am. . walked. . the
mail arrived just as I got back, and there was a flyer from one
of the estate agents for a new house on the market in my 'desired
neighbourhood'. Straight back out with Sally for the quick walk
to have a look at where it was. No, I don't think so. . .rang the
solicitor wanting to know what progress had been made. The answer
was absolutely none! They'd been closed from the 22nd to the 2nd!
. Jeeze. All the agony of being 'non existant' and just 'waiting'
for the last four weeks - for nothing. The process is no further
forward than the day we agreed the sale! B******s! For chrisakes
why does everything always have to be so, SO utterly s*** when
other 'people' are involved. So what am I realistically looking
at now? Completion (if it goes through at all) in April? :o( And
what happens if it DOESN'T happen - with the news telling of
property prices going up by around £1200 per month!!!
ARRGGGHHHH. This powerless-to-do-ANYTHING-waiting is just bloody
agony. :o( . . ate corned beef, onion, lettuce and tomato
sandwiches, two miniature sausage rolls and some chocolate
covered raisins for lunch . . . napped. . . walked and found 20p.
. emptied the last from the open bottle of red wine. . BB called
. . ate Mum made beans on toast with grated cheese and chocolate
biscuits. . .TVd . . .PCd this/TVd until bed around 1:30am. ds
5 - Up
around 7:20am . . walked and got caught out in the drizzle and
soaked . . .walked down to the solicitors office and dropped off
the survey and clarified I didn't want things to be held up over
the couple of what 'I' consider to be silly recommendations
(which are 'normal' party wall type things) . . ate ham, lettuce,
mayo and onion sandwiches with crisps . . . napped . . . walked.
Lots of loud mouthed 'youths' about, all apparantly heading for a
drinking session in the gun emplacements and thereabouts! . .TVd
. . ate a pastie and crisps . . . TVd until bed around midnight.
6 - Trouble
sleeping, up in the night and then up around 8:15am . . walked .
. .sat around . . ate a pastie and crisps and then a bunch of
biscuits . . napped . . walked. Crystal clear, star filled sky.
Rowdy drinking youths in the gun emplacements again, although at
least one of them had a guitar showing a little bit more than the
usual brain dead that I'm more used to seeing. . . ate Mum made
spam, peas and chips . . BB called . . .TVd/PCd/TVd until early.
7 - Up
around 7:45am . . .walked in the drizzle. . . sat around/TVd . .
. ate a chicken and mushroom pastry slice and Mum made spam
sandwiches with crisps . . . TVd. . napped . . . drove to walk in
the rain . .ate Mum made beans, toast and grated cheese followed
by some fruit cake with cofee . . BB called . .TVd until bed
around 1am.
8 - Up
around 8am. . . walked in what turned into rain and got cold and
soaked again. .TVd . .called the estate agent asking them what
the hell was going on with the house purchase, given that four
weeks has now passed and I've heard absolutely nothing from
anyone. They acted pretty evasive and pretty much said it was up
to the solicitors, but they'd call me back later if they could
get any news . . .ate spam sandwiches with crisps . .the fridge
guy turned up before 2pm and fixed the fridge. Yay! . . napped .
. . drove to walk. Drove down and sat in the car by the harbor
for a bit before heading back. . . TVd . . BB called briefly . .
.ate bowls of cornflakes . . TVd until bed around 1am. Magnus
Magnusson died this day. s
9 - Up
around 7:15am. . . walked the woods. . . yayyy - at LAST!
Received a letter in the mail from the solicitor with the
fixtures and fittings and property information forms. So - at
least things have started to move at LAST! Having said that, the
seller had NOT completed AT ALL, the part of the form that
details the included kitchen fixtures and fittings. (This had
been picked up by the solicitor who was pursuing it with them)
What they HAD done was add at the end of the form, a bracketed
list of 'Washing machine, tumble dryer, fridge freezer' and a
note saying 'if required by buyer - negotiable'. Bloody penny
pinchers! . phoned the solicitor with my response to the
paperwork and asked them to convey my answer - 'because I am
coming into the property with almost nothing, I would be most
grateful for ANYTHING they may wish to leave, however I am not
prepared to negotiate further payment for anything'. Dunno if the
solicitor will ACTUALLY convey what I said, but I don't really
care. I AM gonna be financially cleaned out by all this, but I
HAD factored in, spending the last of my money on some new
furniture - sofa, bed, fridge, washing machine etc. Something
that 'I' actually want, rather than second hand, hand me downs
for a change! . . Over the last few days Sally has begun to act
somewhat differently to normal. A bit slower getting around and
perhaps less energetic. She seems ok when we are out and about,
especially if there is something furry to chase, but kinda slow
and stiff after she's been laying down for any time. Her gradual
deterioration has kinda snuck up on me!! She seems to be
increasingly in a bad way!!! She wined with pain, just getting up
off her duvet in the garage to go into the house!!!!!!!!! :o( . .
.looked up vets in the local Thompon directory and made a note of
the adresses and phone numbers of the two in the area. I'm gonna
have to hold off (££) for a little while just to see if things
will be improved by keeping her in the warmth of the bedroom all
the time, instead of the 'outside-temperature', damp-cold of the
garage where we've been spending most of our time! Got me a bit
tearful. Difficult to see how things can get much worse - but it
seems like they surely will. I haven't been particularly verbose
about how I feel about everything that has happened these last
few months - but, suffice it to say, this really is the absolute
worst time of my utterly pathetic little life, and I really damn
near have had enough of this f**ing endless misery . . ate
sandwiches. . . napped and apparantly missed the estate agent
calling the ansaphone . . .drove Sally to walk . . . ate a pastie
with crisps and some cake . . TVd until bed at midnight.
10 - Up
around 7:15am. . .drove to walk . . . returned the estate agent's
ansaphone call from yesterday. They had little to say other than
confirm things HAD now started to crawl into motion. . balanced
my accounts and then did the paperwork to cash in almost all of
my premium bonds. :o( Popped up the post box and got it in the
mail . .sat around/TVd . . .ate a couple of sausage rolls and
salami sandwiches with crisps . . . napped . .drove to walk and
then got Sally straight back into the warmth of the bedroom . .
ate a tin of soup, a couple of small sausage rolls and a small
(old!) stick of garlic bread . .BB called . . TVd until around
11pm and then left Sally in the warm and drove with Mum to drop
Sis2 off at the bus station, the first step of her long haul back
to Canada. .a bit of sitting in the car before a brief hang
around in the bus station and then the coach arrived and she was
away at just before midnight. . . eventually to bed in the early
hours only to toss and turn in poor sleep much of the night as
the forecast storm rolled in.
11 - Woken
just before 7am by the sounds of Mum moving around and an
absolute gale blowing outside. Turned out Mum had been outside
battling with the recycle wheelie bin!!! The terrible wind had
blown the bin over and had turfed all the contents out and strewn
them all down the road! She was really upset and feeling kinda
'guilty' about it! . . drove to walk. Plenty of other bins all
blown over and much of the recycling contents littering the whole
area. Did a very quick once round with Sally being blown around
by the terrible strong gusts. She seemed as happy to get straight
back to the car as I was. . . PCd this . . Sally's condition
seems to be no better and maybe even a little worse. Climbing
into the car seems to be a major effort for her now and all she
does is just lay around hardly moving - and is that a bit of
congestion/runnier nose than normal? No - I can't hold off any
longer!!! . . drove in the rain with Sally and Mum just to find
out where the local vet practices actually were (intending to go
in and see about registering with one of them and getting Sally
in for an early examination) but both of them were closed, and
both seem to be only open on a part-time basis! Bugger! .
.returned and had a go at ringing one of them up. (The phone was
answered from somewhere else, so I think the local one is a
satellite of a larger practice.) Gave all my details and
succeeded in getting an apointment with one of them for 2:50pm.
(Such is my anxiety - as I'm typing this, I keep having to look
around to make sure Sally, layed flat on her side and unmoving,
is still breathing!!!!) Christ, she really is unwell!!!! :o( . . Couldn't upload my journal!? Stupid
hassle I am absolutely NOT in the mood for. Grrr. Turned out to
be I'd run out of webspace again, so I just deleted one of the
videos. . ate salami sandwiches and a couple of small sausage
rolls. . headed off for the vet appointment early, just after
2pm. . sat around in the car outside before giving Sally a quick
wander around on some nearby grass and then in to the vets. Ended
up having to sit around waiting for quite a while before
eventually in to see the vet around 3:15pm or after. Told the
young girl as best I could, about what was going on with Sally.
Peculier bad breath - lacking in energy/listless/laying around
unmoving - stiff and suffering pain when getting up - drippier
nose/more snoring than usual - eating ok, etc, etc, etc. The vet
seemed to spend an inordinate amount of time listening to Sally's
chest with her stethoscope, which got me really worried and
almost overcome with tearful! A slightly erratic heartbeat was
the reason, but she suggested that was perhaps just the stress of
being at the vet - although Sally was oh SO good and put up with
the examination without complaint, even when she had to suffer
the indignity of having her temperature taken 'in the time
honoured way' for animals!! Eeww. .'I' was convinced that Sally
had some sort of infection that would need anti biotics, but the
vet's diagnosis was that it was some sort of rheumatic type deal.
She suggested Sally be given a week long course of 'Metacam
1.5mg/ml oral suspension for dogs' to see what affect it had and
we should return in a week. Popped Sally on the scales to check
her weight before having brief instructions about how to dose her
with the appropriate amount of medication for her weight. Booked
up an appointment for next Thursday, paid the £31.09 bill and
headed home. If Sally has to keep on taking that medication, I'm
in big trouble £!!!!!! . napped for around an hour . . . drove
to walk before getting back to give Sally her food together with
the medication. In the box was a small plastic bottle of the
potion together with a small measuring syringe. The syringe
fitted onto the top of the upturned bottle, and the solution had
to be drawn down into the syringe up to the 40kg measuring mark.
The tricky bit then was twisting off the upturned bottle and
righting it without the remaining contents spilling out. It IS
actually easier than it sounds, but this first time I managed to
somehow unnoticed get a little onto my hands. Mixed in with her
food, Sally didn't notice her medicine at all. It was only after
I'd rolled a cigarette and started smoking it that I realised I'd
splashed my hands - and transferred the contamination to the
cigarette paper and thereby to my lips!!!!! Nasty taste!!!!
Ewwww!!!!! Much emergency spitting on the garage floor before
rushing inside to wash my hands and face!!! :o/ . . ate Mum made
bacon, egg and beans with two pieces of bread and butter followed
by some 'battenburg' cake and coffee . . BB called . . TVd until
bed after midnight. s
12 - Woke
earlier, snoozed on then up around 7:30am . . . drove to walk.
Oooh - dare I hope - Sally seems a 'bit' happier and more
energetic this morning. Fingers crossed! . . .ate sausage rolls
and crisps . . TVd . . napped . . drove to walk. Lots of youths
heading for the gun emplacements again with carrier bags of
booze! :o( Seems to be what the kids do down here for their
entertainment on a weekend (although their accents sounded as
though they were not born and bred locals, to me). Go get pissed
up in a 'pill box' and then do their damnedest to trash the
place!! . . . ate Mum made bacon, egg and beans with four pieces
of bread and butter . . . BB called . . TVd until early. s
13 - Up
after 7:30am . . drove to walk in a bit of drizzle. HUGE amount
of litter, bottles, beer cans, etc were littering the whole area.
Collected up a couple of carrier bags full. Found a couple of
lighters (one ironically decorated with the England flag motif
and the words 'Englands Finest'), a pair of gloves, a nice 3.5mm
stereo patch lead, and then a weird garden ornament sun-dial type
thing laying in the hedge. The sun dial still had the mounting
screws and wall plugs attached, and had clearly recently been
wrenched from wherever it belonged by a drunken yob and then just
dumped there! :o( Blimey - like 'home from home'!! :o(
On closer inspection, it looked as though the dull, thickly
painted garden ornament was actually made of brass underneath and
would probably have cost quite a little bit when new.
If it was
possible, of course I would have returned it to it's rightful
home, but since there was no way of knowing where it had come
from, I figured I may as well take it home, rather than just
leave it on a seat for some other passer-by to decide to have. .
had a go in the garage at removing some of the paint from the
brass sun-dial type thing. It'll take hours if I can be bothered,
but it IS do-able. . . ate a pastie with crisps. . TVd . . napped
. . drove to walk. Drunken, rowdy, foul mouthed 'youths' were
once again assembled in one of the gun emplacements and ruined my
peaceful walk. Just the sight and sound of such 'people'
('Englands Finest'?!!), in an instant, makes me awfuly uptight,
nauseas and totally despairing. :o( . . drank a little red wine
(not enough!). . ate Mum cooked spam, peas and chips . . BB
called . . TVd with coffee, some battenburg cake and some
Maltesers. . TVd until bed around 1:30am. d
14 - Up
around 8am . . . drove to walk and then, with Sally appearing to
be slightly better these last couple of days, took the risk of
doing a slightly longer walk with her through the woods. .
Collected up a small carrier bag of some of the bottles and beer
cans from near the gun emplacement. Huge mess all around again.
Found a couple of small torch like things amongst the debris -
one appeared to be one of those electric key fob type things for
a car alarm, so I left that laying in view on top of the refuse
bin - the other was some silly plastic toy in the shape of a
whale, with the torch-light operated by pressing down on the
dorsal fin! Left that in the custody of a little girl who
accompanied one of the dog walkers . . . back to the garage for
coffee, cigarettes and just a little more emery-clothing of some
of the brass sun dial parts . . PCd a bit of this . .cut my hair
. . ate Mum made spam and corned beef and salad sandwiches with
crisps, a banana and a bunch of chocolate biscuits . .TVd . .
napped . . walked. Nice calm clear night - haven't seen many of
those since I've been down here. Feels like it's been mostly
raining or at least drizzle, and almost always windy. Sally
although still very slow and wobbly getting to her feet, seems to
be not as bad as she has been, and even had a damn good go at
chasing a rabbit tonight. . BB called . .watched Big Brother on
TV again. Utter piffle, but for some reason I have become
intrigued by the nonsense goings on. How sad am I!! Makes me feel
like I'm an alien from another dimension watching the behavior of
the 'inmates', unable to fathom why they act in the way they all
do, and even less able to work out why it is that society seems
to delight in celebrating unpleasant/uncouth/unintelligent/two
faced/trashy people! For the record, I think the Indian girl, the
'Jackson' guy and 'Dirk' seem like more inteligent rather nicer
people. It must say something that none of them are English! And
what is all that about them hugging each other incessantly?
Reminds me of the behaviour of groups of monkeys on the wildlife
shows. It's all very disturbing to me, and I am ashamed to find
it fascinating to watch as their deeper (shallow?) personalities
and monstrous egos are laid bare - or is it because I haven't got
a life of my own at the moment, and will watch any old crap as
long as it gets me through another hour? I really don't exist at
the moment. . ate beans, grated cheese and bread and butter . . .
TVd until bed after 1am.
15 - Up
around 8am again, headachey . . .walked the woods and back . .sat
around sucking an annadin tablet. More really nasty weather
forecast for the coming week. :o( . popped up the store for
cigarette papers and a couple of pastry slices for lunch . .ate
two pastry slices with crisps, popcorn and chocolate biscuits for
lunch. . . napped. . . drove to walk in the rain. It would appear
that part of the remit for the local council workmen is that they
should clear up all the yobs rubbish from the gun emplacements on
a regular basis. The pill box I 'usually' sit in to have a
cigarette when it is raining (the one in which the youths were
partying the other night - outside which I found the sun dial)
had obviously been swept and cleared of most of the debris. There
were however several pieces of thin plastic tubes left behind
(about the diameter of a drinking straw) and strewn around here
and there. These tubes contained some form of fluorescent
chemical (toxic?), and despite how long they'd been there since
use and how broken the pieces were, they still gave off the
faintest glow in the pitch black as I sat for my cigarette.
Weird. . TVd and watched the 'Tonight' show titled 'Anne
Widdecombe V The Hoodies'. Nothing to write home about - been
there, seen that, done that, lived through that - and then some!
. . ate baked beans, grated cheese and two pieces of bread and
butter . . BB called . . TVd until bed around 2am. I think I may
have to stop watching that Big Brother show. Some of those people
are just plain nasty and it's leaving me with a really unpleasant
feeling after having witnessed their 'base' behavior. :o/ s
16 - Up
around 8am again. . walked the woods. Misjudged the weather and
the forecast and got caught out in a prolonged downpour without
my raincoat and leggings. Sat for two cigarettes under cover of
one of the old lime kilns down in the woods, but the rain just
kept on pouring, so there was nothing for it but to just get
drenched! :o(. Sally remains stiff and slow, still isn't her old
self and I fear never again will be. :o( . . received a letter in
the mail from the solicitor with the results of a residential
Drainage and Water search together with a couple of other bits
and pieces. The covering letter included "The seller's
conveyancers have advised that the Sellers will be leaving at no
extra cost, the fridge freezer, washing machine and tumble
drier". Cool. That'll save me having to rush out and buy new
stuff before I can move in. :o) We're
apparantly awaiting a 'local authority search' before any further
progress . . PCd this . . .ate Mum made chicken sandwiches and
crisps. . . BB called . . . napped. . . drove to walk . . .TVd .
. . ate a bowl of muesli and a banana. . TVd until bed around
1:30am. s
17 - Up
around 7:45am . .drove to walk in the rain . . .received two £50
premium bond wins in the mail. Now I've withdrawn almost all of
them, that'll probably be the last for the forseeable future. :o(
. . . walked with Sally down to the building society to bank the
premium bond wins. . ate Mum made chicken sandwiches with crisps
. . TVd . . napped . . walked. Actually not a bad evening.
Definitely the calm before the storm. Lucky timing as the rain
began to fall only minutes after arriving back. . BB called . .
TVd and watched the latest nauseating and utterly shameful
behaviour from the white-trash guttersnipes in the Celebrity Big
Brother program. I think I may have even turned Mum on to
following a bit of it, what with all the furor in the press and
questions in parliament!!! In a weird way I guess in some small
part I identify a little with the program, because of what has
happened to my life and how I've been torn from everything I knew
and how I've had to live under extreme psychological pressure
these last few months with a minimal amount of self
determiniation. Impossible to fully explain. . ate a steak and
kidney pie with a bag of crisps and two bananas. . TVd. .
couldn't sleep and ended up TV/PCing until around 2am as the
forecast storm began to roll in.
18 - Up
around 7:45am again. . drove to walk in the horrendous wind and
rain. Plenty of tree branches down in BGdns. Found 5p. .TVd . .
received a letter from the solicitor saying the local authority
search was done and I should now arrange an appointment to sign
the contract. Rang them up only to find he couldn't fit me in
until Monday!? I presume there is more to it than just signing
something then is there? Bloody annoying having to wait another
four days just for that! :o( Sums up the whole unpleasant process
- the smallest little thing adding weeks of delay for apparantly
no reason at all! Arrrgggghhh! . . ate Mum made Spam sandwiches
with crisps . .TVd the time away until it was time to drive with
Sally to the vets. Just up the road from the vet on an area of
community green space, one of the large trees had been snapped in
half and was down! Left the car parked under trees!! . explained
to the vet how Sally HAD immediately improved somewhat on the
Metacam, but her improvement was only partial and had NOT
continued on to a full recovery. She is still slow and stiff
getting up; her nasal drips have increased; her increased snoring
is sometimes more 'bubbly'; she has developed an occasional
cough! I expressed my laymans opinion that it was as if she had a
cold and maybe needed antibiotics rather than a pain reliever. To
my relief, the vet seemed to agree and prescribed a week long
course (two twice daily) of antibiotics (Synulox), and come back
if there was no improvement. The bad news back out at reception
was the cost! £42.41!!! Ouch. . napped. Woke around 5pm feeling
kinda headachey and REALLY unwell . . walked and found 5p.
Misjudged the weather and got drenched without a coat on the way
back - again! :o( . decided to give Sally this evenings dose of
Metacam and then start the antibiotics tomorrow. . ate Mum made
bacon egg and chips . . BB called briefly . . TVd and watched
CBBrother with Mum. Yep - she's hooked (like I am). . bizarre -
turned over and watched part of 'Mock The Week' and they did a
whole hillariously amusing section on CBBrother - turned over
again and they were discussing it on Question Time!!!! Madness. .
TVd until bed around midnight.
19 - Up at
5:30am for some reason and then just couldn't get back to sleep
no matter how I tried . .walked the woods as daylight crept into
the drizzley sky. Several trees had been blown down in the woods,
with three blocking different parts of the paths. I just can't
get the idea of having a wood burning stove out of my mind, EVERY
time I walk down there. It'd be a lot of hassle having to try and
lug bits of timber all the way back to the house (assuming it all
goes through), but there really is a huge amount of fallen
fuel/heating just laying around rotting down there, ripe for the
picking. If I just picked up a small Sally sized stick every
day, that'd surely be enough to keep me from freezing in the cold
months, 'for nothing' (although of course removing the living
room gas fire, buying a stove, altering the fireplace and having
to pay a builder to sleeve the chimney/alter the chimney pots etc
would probably cost a good couple of thousand - which makes it
seem like much less sense). .bought a couple of packs of sliced
corned beef on the way back and used a couple of pieces to mold
around Sally's first two anti biotic tablets. She woofed them
down without much hassle. . TVd / PCd a bit of this. . Mum
returned from the local store with a daily paper, so we could
read some of the press furor over the Big Brother nonsense lolol
Wow - they sure are 'gunning' for the 'ignorants' . . . ate Mum
made spam sandwiches and crisps watching the ITV news. The
CBBrother controversy was the headline story -
undermanned/under-resourced British army units fighting for their
lives in Afganistan (or was it Iraq? Actually - both, based on
what I've seen in remarkable documentaries!), was the second
story!! . Oh god I need to get me a life!! Ended up watching
CBBrother LIVE on E4 for a while. So - everyone is happy families
again, like it never happened huh? That Shilpa woman is just SO
dignified and strong. I could NEVER forgive being treated like
she was. . . walked. Passed by a blue light flashing police car
on the way. A short while later while crossing a junction, I was
almost hit by a 'dodgy' looking car as the youth occupants
reversed straight out into the adjoining road without looking!?
Never mind me and Sally, it didn't seem to matter to them either
that cars were coming from both directions and both had to stop
while they proceeded to perform a 'u' turn in the junction!
Nutters! . the lower pill box in BGdns was again the venue for a
drunken, rowdy, foul mouthed gathering of all the local
youths/kids. I counted in excess of twenty five. I found it VERY
nerve wracking and intimidating to say the least, having to walk
past them all in the dark. As I headed back up the path in the
pitch black, another half a dozen were on their way down and
passed me. After they'd passed, one of the little girls remarked
in a loud voice to her friends 'He scared the f***ing c**p out of
me!' (referring to my sudden appearance in their torch lights on
the dark path) . On the way home I passed another dozen or so
kids all swilling beer and lager from cans, heading in the
direction of the rest! Think I need to find an alternative place
to walk on Friday nights!! :o( . . .Mum was so caught up in the
CBBrother furor, she even rang in and voted for a Jade eviction!
lol She was going to ring in again and log a vote again on my
behalf, but I stopped her. Hard to explain, but I just didn't
want to actually be sucked in to being a part of it all. I
somehow felt, no matter what happened and how it all panned out,
it would leave me feeling 'unpleasant' if I'd actually had a hand
in it. NOT fence sitting - I just didn't want to be a part of the
funding that made it all happen. . . TVd and watched CBBrother.
Well - Jade was evicted as she most definitely should be, but it
wasn't a pleasant thing to watch at all. Ended up feeling
compassion for even her in her suffering. Reality meets reality
TV, and people really suffer as a result. (I can identify
uncomfortable parallels with me doing my journal!) Can't
understand why there is such outrage at the alleged racist aspect
of it all (which I confess I don't think I see). I'm not sure I
understand why racism is singled out as a special, particularly
awful behavior? Surely suffering is suffering. ANY behavior which
causes suffering, particularly when deliberate, is to be equally
condemned. Is racism worse than bullying? Is animal torture a
lesser wrong? How so if the outcome is broadly the same - that of
causing suffering? I'm not sure I get it. I certainly don't
understand why people are so ready to act in such an appalling
manner, partiicularly when they know their every move is watched,
recorded and replayed. You'd have thought they'd all be really
really nice and boring to each other all the time? Blah blah
blah. Anyway - hopefully all that nonsense is over and done with,
although just this once I may continue to watch it, just to see
who is deemed to be the winner, however it is that is done. . BB
called . . .ate a pastie with crisps and then some pastry tarts
with coffee. . . TVd until bed around midnight.
20 - Up
around 7am. . . walked and couldn't resist having a good look
around near where the kids had been last night. Huge mess
everywhere. Amongst the mess were a few carrier bags, and given
it was still early enough to be pretty quiet out, I just couldn't
resist clearing some of it up. I filled FIVE carrier bags FULL of
mostly beer cans and wine bottles etc. (two cans of Guiness
unopened but I binned them too). A couple of 'roaches' here and
there indicated they had predictably been 'smoking'. My 'payment'
for the clear up was to find a penny, three lighters, a
'Failsworth' checked-wool hat, and a rather nice rubber Halfords
torch!! . . on the way back to Mums a dog walker hailed me from
the other side of the road and mentioned the sun dial I'd found.
(I don't recall, but I must have spoken to her the day I found
it.) She'd been thinking about it and had come to the conclusion
that she thought she'd seen something like it down by the nearby
Heritage Museum (which I pass whenever I walk the woods, and
where for the last few weeks a new 'garage sized with a tower at
one end' building has been undergoing construction). Hmmm - I
wonder? That would make sense, being so close, and on reflection
it is possible the paint which covered it does seem a 'similar'
if weathered colour to much around that museum. . Walked straight
back down to the museum to have a look around, just in case I
could spot something with a couple of empty mounting holes.
Predictably no one was around, and the barriers erected around
the building site stopped me from having a closer look. Guess
I'll have to wait to ask someone, whenever it is next open
(although that may be seasonal and some time off). . . received
another letter from my solicitor in the mail, which included a
copy of a letter from the vendors solicitor. Included in the
letter was "Please note that my clients need to arrange
rented accomodation and are not in a position to do this until
such time as the buyers are ready to exchange and a completion
date agreed. In this respect it is hoped that your clients will
be flexible with regard to the completion date." Huh?
That's a catch 22 isn't it? What does that mean? I have to just
sit and wait on them while they take their time finding a nice
place to rent? That could go on forever!!???? That put me in a
down mood. . . ate liver pate sandwiches with crisps and then
some toffee popcorn . . napped . . walked and test drove my new
torch. Yep - quite a nice one. Strangely not quite so good at
illuminating the 'near', but oh SO much better at distance stuff.
Good beam for such a little thing. . hints of distant lightning
in the air somewhere and then it began to rain - LOTS!! Damn! No
rain coat! Luckily reached the cover of the rooved seats before
it got too bad. Watched as the distant lights across the bay,
completely disappeared in the thick of the storm. Rivers of rain
rushed down the paths as sudden strong winds lashed around me.
The weather down here is 'different' to what I'm used to. You can
sit for a short period of time and watch it change around you. I
call it 'dynamic'. . Stuck it out for a couple of cigarettes and
was overjoyed to see the heavy rain drift off out to sea, and I
eventually managed to walk back without getting wet at all. Made
a nice change. :o) . . . touched base with BB. . .ate Mum cooked
sausages, eggs and chips. . TVd/PCd this
21 - Up
around 7:30am. .walked the woods. Had a go at one of the fallen
trees, which has completely blocked the lower path through the
woods. Hacked away with my pocket knife for ages, and eventually
succeeded in removing enough of the branches to make it a little
easier to get by without having to detour and climb through the
brambles as had been the case. Hot hard work, but suprisingly
successful with such a little knife. . sat in BGdns for another
cigarette, I became aware of the sound of someone shaking an
aerosol can of spray paint in the top (main) pill box!? Surely
someone wouldn't be SO brazen as to do (yet more) graffitti at
this time of day, with all the dog walkers around?!! I kept watch
out of the corner of my eye. Turned out to be a quite elderly man
- he did have a can of spray paint - I saw him do a test spray
(white paint) on one of the vertical walls - he was trying
unsuccessfully to spray the roof (the near empty can wouldn't
spray inverted like that)! All very weird!????? After he'd given
up trying to do whatever he was doing, and had returned to his
nearby car and driven off, I couldn't resist descending the
flight of steps and having a look in the pill box. Aha. I rather
suspect, on the spur of the moment, outraged by what he'd found
in the pill box, he'd been attempting to cover it up.
All over the light colour, painted ceiling of
the pill box, some degenerate yob had done black graffitti
(possibly even burned-in with a candle or lighter). The whole
ceiling was covered in VERY offensive swear words ( most notably
a very large, clear, impossible to overlook 'C' word) together
with several nazi swastikas!!! Although perhaps understandable
and commendable, attempting to spray over it all with a white
aerosol was a rather silly thing to do. Just made the whole thing
an even bigger mess, with occassional splatters of white paint
here and there! If someone was to supply the correct paint, I
would willingly do the necessary. Foul abuse and particularly the
nazi swastikas, in a World War II pill box, with all THAT
represents - by this 'I' am much offended. :o( What sort of
impression is that gonna give the tourists when the season
starts? What shame it is, to be British in this age. . . ate
sandwiches and crisps . . . napped . . .walked . . BB called . .
ate Mum cooked pizza with extra cheese and onion . . . TV/PCd
until bed around 2am.
22 - Up
around 7:30am. .walked. Much colder this morning. Dare I think
those anti biotics have had an effect, and Sally is slightly more
her normal self (although remains stiff and slow getting up after
having been lead down for a bit)? . briefly TVd until it was time
to leave Sally and head down to the solicitor for my eleven
o'clock 'signature' appointment. Turns out it WAS more than just
get a signature from me. We had to go through all the papers and
search results and question answers to make sure I knew what I
was getting into and was happy with everything, before proceeding
with signing the buyer contract. Everything was pretty much as
expected with the exception of the rights of access details
concerning the property's rear access lane. The search they'd
done had come back confirming I would have a legal right of
pedestrian and vehicular access over the area highlighted on the
provided plan. The trouble with that was, on the plan only half
of the access lane was highlighted, and NOT the bit that was most
important which would provide vehicular access to the garage!!
The bit that WAS highlighted was apparantly nothing more than a
small pedestrian lane coming round from the other end! After
having had a good look down that lane, I wasn't even aware that
it continued on through for pedestrians! The solicitor said he
would have to go back and confirm that aspect again. Uggh - so
how long is THAT gonna take!! :o( I also asked him to seek
details from the vendor of the utility companies currently used
(to make a transfer easier for me if/when I move in), and user
instructions for the heating system. (The vendor has apparantly
been there since 1994. A safety inspection was done on the
heating system and gas fires in 2005. Other than that, there were
no certificates or guarantees.) . Signed the contract and then
wrote out a cheque for a 10% deposit as required for when the
contracts are eventually exchanged (made a fool of myself by
having an anxiety induced mental blank and not being able to
spell the name of the solicitor on the cheque!!). The solicitor
confirmed he would contact the vendors solicitor, with a view to
establishing what sort of a timescale they now had in mind. He
actually rang their solicitor while I was sat there, to inform
him I had actually just written out the deposit cheque. The whole
process took around one and a half hours! My solicitor refused to
be drawn over how long things 'could' now take. Nevertheless, I
did exit feeling as though maybe, just maybe, things were
actually starting to happen and it may actually occur. BIG nasty
stress headache. briefly had a quick look in a couple of charity
shops before heading back to Mums, past 'the house' so I could
have a look at the pedestrian access to the rear. Turned out
there was a small wooden gate just down the road, with a
'private' sign on it, which lead into a narrow, overgrown
footpath that wound around the rank of houses and then opened up
into the wider vehicular access lane at the back. No worries -
obviously little used and not a shortcut anywhere for anyone.
Just need to make sure I do have a legal right to get a car down
there to the garage! . . .transferred some money over out of my
higher interest savings account to cover the deposit cheque . . .
ate corned beef sandwiches, crisps and some cheese . . napped . .
walked in the freezing gale. Really VERY cold with the oh SO
strong wind coming in from a much less usual direction for down
here - something like a North Easterly I think, although I'm
still not 'too' accurately aware of which direction is which yet,
when walking aroundabout. . sat in the sheltered dark of a pill
box for my usual cigarette and was amazed to be able to make out
in the distance, waves and spray being blown over the top of the
breakwater, all along its length, and even over the lighthouse!!
Wow - never seen THAT down here before! . called Mum on the
mobile on the way home and told her to get ready to go for a
quick drive if she was up for it . . . drove with Sally and Mum
to see the weather. Drove round to the breakwater beach car park,
and pulled up next to another car who'd already parked up with
it's headlights pointing out towards the breakwater to illuminate
the waves. Wow. WOW!! BIG weather. Actually a little worrying
despite being in the car. Even Mum had never seen the seas that
rough down here. Drove to a couple more less impressive vantage
points before eventually calling it quits and returning . . TVd.
On the 'Tonight' show there was an 'update' to the 'Anne
Widdecombe V The Hoodies' documentary they'd aired last week.
Apparantly, the decent people Anne Widdecombe had stayed with on
the scum-ridden estate had subsequently suffered an arson attack.
After the publicity she generated for them, someone had attempted
to put burning stuff through their letter box - and the council
were now having to re-house them, elsewhere. No suprises there
then. Surely everyone concerned MUST have known that was probably
going to happen? Why didn't the TV people rig up some CCTV
cameras and leave them with them??. . BB called . . TVd . . ate
sausages, bacon, egg, beans and bread and butter . . TVd until
bed around 1am. aa
23 - Up
around 7:30am. .walked in the cold wind with the camcorder in one
pocket and a tripod inside my coat - just in case. The sea was
still looking fairly rough (not 'quite' as bad as last night) and
was still breaking over the breakwater now and then, here and
there. I'm sure they probably were out, but I didn't see any
fishing boats go by this morning.
Had a go at videoing what I think was the
pilot boat, as it left the harbor and headed out into the waves
past the end of the breakwater. Looked like a real rough ride,
and not one I would ever willingly do, with waves and spray
breaking right over the top of the vessel. Small boat / big
engine. . sat around in the low sun watching the view for a while
before finding myself unable to resist walking all the way around
the harbor and over to the breakwater in the distance (where we'd
parked up last night). . on a slipway in the outer harbor, a
marker buoy was strangely just sat on the sloping concrete, with
rough waves washing up to it. There appeared to be nothing
actually holding it there other than it's own weight, and it
really did look suspiciously as though it had broken from its
mooring and had simply been beached there by the waves of what I
think was the now slowly retreating tide! The whole metal
structure at the top of the buoy, where the light would have been
was all bent and buckled by some great force. A rather nice
looking solar panel (£££) was still intact on the side.
(Didn't realise they were powered by solar!). .
a little
further on and almost round to the inner harbor, near the
unpleasantly 'industrial' fishdock slipway, I found myself
unexpectedly looking at a seal - as it looked back at Sally and
I!! Rushed to get my camcorder out of my pocket and fired up, but
only managed a few seconds of footage before it calmly dipped its
head under the waves and didn't reappear. Owwww. I don't think it
is a 'particularly' rare sight to see a seal thereabouts, but I
thought it was pretty neat. Very 'doggy' sort of face - 'dog of
the sea', and of course I like dogs. :o) . carried on walking
around the inner harbor and then out past the marina. Someones
small 'tender' rowing boat was drifting loose, full of water and
on the verge of sinking amongst a lot of other floating debris.
Eventually battled through the freezing wind
and reached the Breakwater beach, near where we'd parked up last
night. Good grief - some guy all dressed in soaked waterproofs
was just returning from having apparantly walked out along the
breakwater! Nutter!!! A big warning sign at the end of the
breakwater announced that it was closed due to the bad
(dangerous) weather conditions. . Disappointing it was nowhere
near as rough as last night, but it was still rough enough to be
quite impressive, and with the sunshine in a clear sky, WAS worth
a bit of videoing. . as I messed around filming the scene, all
the while keeping a worried eye (Sally too) on the waves a short
distance from me (and the beach side restaraunt - today a little
too close to the waves for comfort!), I became aware of a bird on
the beach which appeared to be getting a bit of a battering from
the surf!? Zoomed in with the camcorder and confirmed my fears.
It was covered in oil and was desperately attempting to groom
itself!!! :o(
That surely
HAS to be a casualty of that 'Napoli' shipwreck off the
Brandscombe Beach which has been on the news these last couple of
days - mostly because of the mass looting of all the containers
washed up on the beach, as the inept authorities faff around
trying to figure out what the law is! Human nature on full
display at its worst, as people came from far and wide trying to
grab something for nothing. Yuck! (But I'm human too - I was more
than a little jealous watching the news footage of people walking
away with brand new BMW motorbikes!!!!Sheesh! I'm sure if the
beach just down the road was covered in 'stuff' I'd be down there
to have a rummage. :o( Nauseating!). I guess despite the
distances involved, if the wind, tides and currents were right,
it IS conceivable that some of that wreckage 'could' maybe find
it's way round here - but no BMWs of course!!! . . Poor little
bird. Awful to stand and watch its suffering and inevitable slow
death. Very painful. :o( God HOW I HATE mankind! :o( Eventually
gave up playing with the camcorder and started back across the
small stretch of beach with Sally, only feet from the unmoving
bird. Dare I have a go at catching it? What a load of hassle
that'll be if I actually get it. It'd be a good hours walk to get
back to Mums. It'd die of fright if I was carrying it so far
wouldn't it? And then what to do with it/where to take it?
Arrrgggghhh. Damn, damn, damn! Tied Sally to a metal post at the
top of the beach and left her there next to my camcorder tripod
and made my way back down towards the bird, trying to figure out
how to give it a go. The waves had made a deep ledge in the
pebbles of the beach, and the bird had managed to struggle with
the help of the gale up to the top of it, away from all but the
biggest of the incoming waves. In danger of getting wet (or
washed away if there was one of those big 'freak' waves that you
always hear about on the news when some wreckless fool has gone
missing) , I dropped down off the shelf and attempted to make my
way between the waves and the bird, in the hope that it would be
encourged higher up the beach as I slowly approached. I got
within three feet of it and, keeping a worried eye on the
incoming breakers, was building myself up to lunging at it - and
just then it made a break for it and caught the wind and
fluttered awkwardly headlong straight into the surf and was gone.
Sad, sad, sad - but, I admit, a bit of a relief as well. Oh well
- I gave it my best shot. :o( . . headed back on the long walk
back to Mums, feeling really rather upset. I hate to witness the
suffering of ANYTHING! :o( . . TVd with a coffee before setting
off with Sally and Mum to the local(ish) Morrisons store to do
some shopping, but mostly to get dog food supplies (only one tin
left!). 24xWinalot @ £9.98 and 6xMorrisons Mydog Premium to try
@ £1.88. Mum as ever absolutely INSISTED on paying for
absolutely everything!! I owe her much. :o/ . . .ate a couple of
meat and stuffing pastry slices with two bags of crisps and a
couple of doughnuts . . PCd this morning's video footage. . .
napped . . .walked. Cold! Hmm - I'm not sure, but I think that
beached and damaged buoy I saw earlier is the green light marker
buoy from the entrance of the outer harbor. The red light is
still there, but I think there WAS a green one too - and it ain't
there now. . BB called. Temperature down to zero in the garage
tonight. Didn't spend much time out there today. . TVd . .ate
belly of pork and stuffing slice sandwiches (yucky) and some
pastry apple tarts. . .TVd/PCd a bit of this. Seem to be having
great trouble putting in the work required to keep this going at
the moment. Soon gave up and TVd until bed around 1am.
24 - Woken
by Sally making a loud licking noise around 7:15am . . .headline
news this morning is that all the prisons in the country are full
- so the courts are being instructed not to sentence any more
offenders to a prison sentence, and existing prisoners are going
to be released early. Errrr - doesn't that pretty much mean that
this country has now reached an advanced stage of a seemingly
unstoppable march toward anarchy?!!??? Despair! . . walked the
woods. Exchanged a word with a dog walker who was taking photos
of 'things'. Turns out she was a teacher in Plymouth until
recently but has chucked it all in because she can't handle the
increasing antisocial, bad behavior nonsense from the
yobs(/parents) she was teaching. NOT an unusual story these days
it appears. How long until no one is prepared to be a teacher I
wonder, and what happens then?! . used my pocket knife to chop
off a few more of the branches from the downed tree, still
partially blocking the path. . stopped off at the BGdns Heritage
'Museum' and asked one of the workmen working there if they'd
recently lost a sundial. He was adamant they hadn't, but
recognised my description of it and was sure he'd seen one like
it on someones house somewhere - but he couldn't remember where.
. TVd . PCd this, determined to try and catch up on the last
several days - or is it almost a week now?!! Hassle! Gives me a
real back (and much else) ache trying to type all this sitting on
a low footstool . . .ate chicken and stuffing slice sandwiches,
cheese, crackers and a little chocolate . . PCd this more. Naww -
I've had enough for today. This'll have to do. . napped . .
walked. . . BB called . . TVd. . ate a steak and kidney pie,
banana and biscuits . . TVd until bed around 1am. s
25 - Woken
by Sally's snoring before 6:30am! . . . walked the woods. Word on
the bench is that there ARE thankfully people trawling the local
coast, armed with RSPCA boxes, rescuing oil covered birds . . .
received a letter from the solicitor containing a copy of his
letter to the sellers solicitor seeking answers to the points
raised at our meeting on Monday. So - that'll put everything back
another week or two just to get a reply! Agonising! :o( God how I
want them to get their finger out and exchange contracts. Until
that is done, I'm nowhere, got nothing, and it could all still
fall through SO easly!! :o( . .ate pate sandwiches, crisps and
most of a packet of toffee popcorn. . napped . . walked. Very
cold this evening. All this out doing walks twice a day (whatever
the weather), interspersed with sitting around for hours smoking
out in the garage, chills me to the bone, and even going in to
sit by Mums piping hot radiator can't seem to warm me up
(especially my feet). Just seem to feel deep down cold all the
time and have done for months now. :o( Tonight was the last two
tablets of Sally's course of anti biotics. I think she'll miss
those little treats of squished up corned beef hiding the
tablets. On the plus side, she really seems to like that
Morrisons own 'Mydog Premium' dog food I bought to try. It has
the same solid consistancy of Winalot (cheaper ones are often
little more than a tin of liquid!), but is quite a bit cheaper.
May have to buy some more of those when I next need supplies. .
BB called . . ate mum heated chicken and mushroom pastry slice,
peas and chips. . Sis2 called to touch base . . PCd a bit of this
. . -1C in the garage - didn't stay out there smoking too much
this evening. . TVd (and finished eating the packet of toffee
popcorn) until bed around 1am.
26 - Up
around 7am . . walked the woods . .TVd in the garage most of the
morning (with Sally on her doubled-over duvet and covered in a
sleeping bag) before succumbing to the cold and retreating into
the warm to balance my accounts (my house deposit has left my
account - so the solicitor is presumably making a nice little bit
of interest on it now! Humph.) and PC this. . .ate Mum made pate
sandwiches and crisps followed by chocolate biscuits . . .napped
. . walked. Slightly warmer and not too much wind, made for a
pleasant walk - until that is, the hords of (20+) foul mouthed,
rowdy kids turned up to party and get drunk in the pill boxes
again. :o( Come on Sally - time to go!. . BB called . . ate Mum
cooked pizza while watching CBBrother on TV. . TV/PCd until bed
around 2am. s
27 - Up
around 7:20am . . walked. I guess I have to confess that there is
something of the 'Branscombe Beach Looters' about me on a
Saturday morning these days, given the activities that seem to go
on in BGdns every Friday night! Can't help a certain amount of -
um - 'expectation' about what I 'may' find amongst the litter the
partying kids leave strewn around everywhere. This morning they
had at least left several empty plastic carrier bags just blowing
around on the breeze, so I had little excuse not to fill them and
clear most of it up before anyone else was about to be offended
by the mess. Filled up three carrier bags of beer cans, broken
glass and plastic glow in the dark 'straws'! My 'payment' for the
task today? I found a £10 note amongst the debris in the pill
boxes. :o) That's good payment for the effort. . still not 'too'
cold with little breeze, and cheered up by my find, I figured it
would be a good day to do the long walk around the harbor and out
along the breakwater. I was only half way to the harbor when I
spotted another oiled Gillamot. It was just sat all dejected on
the concrete of a slipway. Sally did as I bid (she is SO good -
but then we've had lots of practice) and sat and waited on the
pathway while I walked down the slipway towards the bird. It
really was NOT well, and continued to just sit there as I
approached and walked round to the waters edge behind it. With
the slightest attempt at a flutter from the bird, I simply walked
up behind it, stooped and picked it up! It had a good go at
giving me a pecking as I rushed to start heading back to Mums
with it firmly held in both hands against my chest. Briefly
stopped at a nearby waste bin and thankfully found a plastic
carrier bag in the bottom. With some difficulty I managed to get
the struggling bird into the carrier bag with its beak poking out
of a hole. That made it much easier to keep it all wrapped up so
it couldn't keep trying to flap its wings, for the long hurried
walk back to Mums. I could feel the poor bird's keel bone as I
cluched it, with almost no meat on it at all! . .
got Mum to
help, and retrieved an empty cardboard box from the garage and
got the bird out of the bag and into the quiet safety of the box
. . Mum found the number of the not 'too' distant wildlife rescue
place and gave them a call, only to get the ansphone, although it
did suggest another mobile number for oiled birds. I gave them a
call and remarkably the guy who answered said he would come and
pick it up in around an hour because he would be out this way
while checking for more oiled birds on the local beaches. Cool. .
. true to his word, he soon turned up in a VERY noticeable van,
together with all his young children! He remarked how his arrival
had seen all the neighbours straining to see what was going on.
lol Very nice guy. Had a bit of a chat and he expressed his
outrage at the recent news reports which suggested 70% of such
rescued birds would NOT survive. His experience, when
the birds are treated correctly, is that at least
70% WILL survive. Apparantly he'll take it back to their centre,
let it join a group of others in his care (only nine at the
moment after a batch sent to West Hatch) , give it a feed, and
then just give it time to recover I think he said. Very nice guy.
. . ate chicken and stuffing slice sandwiches with some cheese
and crisps followed by a doughnut . . . napped . . .walked. Nice
quiet calm evening. . on the way back, a mixed group of half a
dozen or so youths were all sat chatting on someone's low garden
wall. As I passed one of them remarked to his friends how Sally
looked 'like Sky - with a tail.' (Reference I presumed, to a
German Shepherd I've met while walking, which only had a stump of
a tail because it was run over by its owners car when it was a
puppy!) I carried on walking and passed the member of their group
they were waiting for, who had been in the local store and bought
a large cardboard box of bottles of alcohol (weird Gin or Vodka
based stuff - kinda vivid blue in colour). Off they all went in
the direction of BGdns. .BB called . . ate Mum cooked bacon,
eggs, beans and bread and butter followed by a doughnut . .TVd
until bed.
28 - Up
around 7:20am . . walked. I don't believe it!! BGdns looked as
though it'd been the scene of a riot! Large branches of trees
were laying around and stuck in the ground all over the place
where they'd been thrown. The charred remains of a small fire
were evident on top of the gun emplacement. A wooden slat from
one of the seats had been torn off and snapped into firewood. A
brass, riveted on, 'In Rememberance Of' plaque had been prised
from the back of another of the seats and cast aside (I attempted
to bash it back in place - with due apologies to the named dearly
departed, his dog and surviving wife)("IN MEMORY OF MY HUSBAND NORMAN
KENNETH READ. ALSO HEIDI OUR FAITHFUL FRIEND. I SHALL MISS YOU
AND LOVE YOU ALWAYS. SILVIA").
All the first row of roof tiles from the roof
over the seats had been torn off and smashed and thrown all
around. It perhaps goes without saying that litter cans and glass
bottles were strewn all around - but what was perhaps worthy of
note was the cardboard box and unfinished bottle of
vivid-blue-in-colour drink which was amongst it. So - that group
I passed last night may well have had a hand in the destruction
of the roof! . collected up many of the bottles and placed them
back in the cardboard container, and just left it all sat on top
of the nearby refuse bin. Collected up a bunch of the broken roof
tiles and put them in a neat pile near the seats under the
remainder of the roof - but I'm not sure why. :o/ Felt
overwhelmed with that all too familiar sickening feeling of anger
and powerless despair I have experienced so much of, this last
year and more. I don't believe it! The very insanity I had hoped
to have escaped (for a while at least) is already down here in
abundance! What the hell was the point of going through these
months of torture, just to end up in a similar situation?! My
mood crashed in a heartbeat. Have I made a horrible mistake
thinking that there is anything left for me in this country?. had
to get away from the devastation, and decided to walk around the
harbor and out along the breakwater to the lighthouse and back. .
the lighthouse was graffittied! Exchanged a word with a dog
walker riding a bike alongside his dog. He didn't used to have a
dog - until he decided to get one for 'guard dog' purposes! He
described the increasing amount of bad behaviour he had
experienced, how he'd beefed up the locks on his home, how he had
a CCTV system, etc, etc! :o( Almost seemed pointless bothering to
walk back. Could have just thrown myself off the end of the
breakwater and into the abyss there and then couldn't I! . . I
was suprised but relieved not to see any more distressed oil
covered birds. All the more suprising when, as I passed the
innermost part of the outer harbor, I became aware of a choking
acrid smell of petrol!? A huge rainbow coloured oil slick was
floating on the water, right where the lifeboat moors up (it had
only recently left the harbor heading off out to sea!). Blimey -
I trust that wasn't discharged there by the lifeboat!! Birds were
bobbing around not far off, just ready to be covered! :o( . .
.eventually returned feeling oh so very, VERY DOWN!!! . . . ate
chocolate biscuits and then a chicken and mushroom pastry slice
with crisps . . .napped . . .walked. . .touched base with BB . .
TVd and watched the final of CBBrother. Mum rang up and voted
appropriately. Thankfully it seems, so did most of the viewers,
and the 'good' (all non British - Shilpa
being the rightful winner under the circumstances ) triumphed
over the 'bad' . I really really DO think the awful behaviour
displayed on that show (and perhaps the shows very existance)
absolutely IS a perfect example of how this country has gone to
the dogs. How loutishness and anti social behaviour IS now very
much the norm and is actively celebrated in so very much of the
dumbed down media, thereby increasing and perpetuating it. Blah
blah blah. Anyway - thank god all that nonsense is over with. Who
knows, maybe there'll occasionaly be something intelligent to
watch now?(Unlikely!) . . TVd until bed just after midnight. s
29 - Up
around 7:15am . . walked the woods . . .sat around really f***ing
fed up! :o( . . ate pate sandwiches and crisps. . . napped . . .
walked . . BB called . . ate spam, peas and chips. . . TVd until
bed after 1:30am.
30 - Up
around 7:30am . . walked . . . TVd . .phoned the solicitor
intending to find out what was going on, only to be told he was
in a meeting with clients and would call me back. Uhuh. So how
come he was so willing to answer his phone when I was in with
him? . . ate pate sandwiches, cheese and crisps . . . napped. So
the solicitor didn't bother to call me back then. I'm not sure
how much more of this I can take. Foul down mood . . walked. . .
BB called but I had nothing to say . . ate two turkey and
stuffing pastry slices and some buttered hot cross buns . . . TVd
until bed around midnight. 'Tough' few days. Suffice it to say, I CAN confirm
for the record, that a hoselock fitting on the end of a hosepipe,
does fit quite snugly in the downward curve of my car exhaust! I
just needed to know!
31 - Up
around 7:30am . . walked. Really low tide and spotted a couple of
seal foraging around the bay and occasionaly stopping to look
back at me as I peered at them through my binoculars. .wow -
spotted what appears to be a wreck under the low tide shallow
water at the foot of the small cliff at the bottom of BGdns. Not
much left of whatever it was, but there IS a whole bunch of shiny
stainless steel fitments visible, and well within reach for a
brief period of time at low tide if you precariously climbed over
the rocks and waded in amongst the submerged ropes and cables.
How weird no one has had that away. A grappling hook on the end
of a strong rope would probably be the easiest way. .wow -
whoever was throwing those roof tiles around the other night was
lucky not to have killed someone. I noticed broken remnants of
them, thrown down from on high like a frisby, near the bottom
footpath!! :o( . . .Detoured on the way back after spotting
another new for-sale sign on a nearby house. Turned out to be two
new ones in the same street!! One was fully detached and
obviously out of my price range, but the other was probably well
within! Hmmm!? . received a letter in the mail from the solicitor
-/unfinished/-
. .phoned the solicitor only to be told he was in a meeting with clients and would call me back - again! Yeah I bet! :o( . waited all up tight and frankly fuming about how this supposed 'quick' completion was dragging on indefinately (eight weeks this week!!!!) with absolutely no sign of even an agreement on a completion date in sight - and now I can't even get my bloody solicitor to speak to me!! This indefinate waiting without ANY control over anything is THE worst!! :o( . . ate Mum made spam sandwiches, crisps, cheese and crackers and a banana. . TVd struggling to stay awake . .called the solicitor again but got the same old story!!! Grrr. . at last, the solicitor finally called me back. I was in a terrible state of mind by this time and started off the conversation by saying 'Thank you for calling me back - eventually!'. In pretty short order, I made it quite clear I was very close to pulling the plug on the whole deal! Eight weeks this week since 'sale agreed' (although the solicitor claimed they didn't receive any papers from the seller until the first of January! Grrrr)!
-/unfinished/-
napped. . walked . . BB called . .
ate Mum cooked pizza with extra cheese, onion and tomato. . TVd
until bed around 12:30am. a
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