| What can I convey to a stranger, in
short biography Of the path that I have travelled and of what has come to be me? |
![]() Yet but young in deed. |
I was born on 27th of October 1961 at
the family
home in Downend, Bristol. The youngest of three children
I was the only boy.Apparantly immediately following the
birth the doctor and midwife celebrated by lighting up
and smoking a cigarette. How things have changed. Was it
latent memories of cigarette smoke connected with
reassuring post birth trauma breast feeding that meant in
later life I would become a smoker? Did some kidstuff as I grew up. I got older and shit happened ! It kept on happening. It's probably still happening . . . it's just that I've stopped happening. I got beaten up. It hurt. It hurt in ways that I can't tell you. Dropped out of sixth form college and got a dead end job as a furniture salesman in a shop. |
![]() Always felt alone in a crowd. |
| Followed in my fathers
footsteps and went to work for the Post Office ( My CV )
for almost twenty years of my life, a
minimum of the last ten of which were years of pure hell.
Had my best friend my dog
put down. Experimented with drugs.
Got burgled.
Did some silly things.
Learned to cry. Fell in love. Had my heart broken. Had my
broken heart broken some more just to make sure. Ended up with a thick doctors file of medical notes! Dissolved in depression. 'Lost' my job, my self confidence and the last vestiges of my self esteem. A revelation in
September 2000!! Discovered details of Avoidant
Personality Disorder on the internet, and identified most
strongly with the traits!!! |
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| "Help in Disguise:When people are unsympathetic to you and the world does not go as you wish, this should be a help to detachment of feelings from the repetitious cycle of becoming and decay, gaining and losing." | ||
| right
now? Avoidant Personality Disorder? |
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